Shawn Mendes Imagines

killing

i used to update all the time, and i used to be so proud of my work. but i'm not anymore. i feel like everything i write is childish and is not as good as other author's on here. i know i should not compare my work to other's, but i wish i could write like some of the people on here. i wish i could write something meaningful, or write the imagines i used to that were funny and cute. 

ugh anyways hope you enjoy this :)

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a warm breeze brushed through my hair as i stared out at the dark blue water. i hugged my knees close to my chest while i listened to the waves crash onto the shore. the sun was setting causing the air to get chilly. i shivered, but refused to leave. 

the beach was the only place i could clear my head. it was the place that i always went to when i started to miss him.  it has been months since my ex boyfriend, shawn, and i broke up.  i've spend the last few months trying to get over him, but i have not made any progress. every morning when i wake up and realize that he's not beside me in the queen size bed my heart aches, whenever my phone buzzes i can't help but hope it was him but disappointment washes over me when i notice that it wasn't.  it hurts to go to restaurants that we used to go to on dates, or listen to songs that we used to listen to together. it kills me whenever i hear his voice on the radio, or see him all over social media, but that's not even the hardest part. the night's are the worst. when i turn all the lights off in that empty house and turn the tv, the whole house is dark and silent. i lay in the cold bed and stare up at the ceiling wondering where everything went wrong. 

"y/n?" my whole body went numb, i could hear my heart beat in my ears. it can't be him. i turned my head slowly scared to see if it was shawn. when my eyes met his brown ones all the air in my lung was sucked out. i noticed that his brown curly hair was soaked and covering his forehead, his shoulders moved up and down as he breathed heavily. 

"shawn," i let out breathlessly as i stood up facing him. he walked closer to me looking at me in disbelief. "what are you doing here?" i asked pushing my eyebrows together. 

"i was doing an afternoon jog, and saw your car parked at the pier. i wanted to see if it was really you." shawn explained. 

"why? shawn, we haven't talked since," i stopped and swallowed hard, "since that night." 

his eyes softened, he looked down at the sand below us before saying anything, "it's killing me." he mumbled. 

"what?" i asked confused. he lifted his head and looked up at the now dark sky. 

"this is killing me y/n! not being able to be with you, or hold you. you have no idea how much i have missed you. i know that it's my fault, and i regret what i did every day. i made a mistake," his eyes were looking into mine and slowly filling with tears, "i've spent months trying to get you off of my mind, but it is impossible. i get it if you have moved on, i just-," i cut him off by crashing my lips on his. he was surprised at first, but relaxed and kissed back. he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him. 

i dont know how to finish this