Shawn Mendes Imagines

"I miss me too."

"I miss you." He said his voice raspy as his hands found my own.

I swallowed hard and shook my head, "I miss me too." He looked at me confused so I went one, "I miss the me that would laugh more than she cried, the me that still wanted to go out in public and not have to fear of running into you while I'm grocery shopping, I miss the me that used to be able to listen to the radio and not have to skip your songs because I will have to pull to the side of the road when I hear your voice. I miss the me I was before I met you." I  tried to prevent the tears that were brimming my eyes to fall.

Shawn's hands fell from mine and he turned around to look away. He raised his hand to his face and stood there for a second before turning back to face me. His warm light brown eyes were now dark and red. His jaw was clenched and his hands were balled into fists. He turned to the side and punched the brick wall beside us. I jumped at his anger and closed my eyes tightly letting a tear slide down my cheek.

"This is all my fucking fault. I should of never let you go." Shawn said softly with the palms of his hands pressed against the bricks. I had never seen Shawn seem so vulnerable. My heart broke even more seeing him in this state.

"Shawn," I said placing my hand on his back. He shook his head and backed away from the wall.

"I love you just know that okay. I'm so damn sorry that I screwed us up. We had something good, didn't we?" He looked up from the ground under us to see what I had to say.

"Yeah," i sniffled and wiped my nose with my sleeve, "Yeah we did."

"I guess this is it." Shawn swallowed hard and looked at something in the distance with his jaw clenched tight.

"Yeah it is Shawn." He closed his eyes tightly and looked back down. He opened his eyes for a few seconds before looking up into mine. He stepped closer to me and hugged me. I hugged him back and inhaled his scent that I would miss so much. After a few seconds we pulled away. I started to walk away, but he said my name causing me to stop and look back.

"Y/n," he said, "I miss me too."  I turned my head back around and sighed before continuing to walk back to my car. We both ruined each other. We changed each other. I didn't know if it was for the best or worst. Right now it felt like I would never be the same, but maybe eventually I will heal. So will he.

I hate when people say they are depressed when they are really only just sad.

I hate when people say they are bipolar when they just have a few mood swings.

I hate when people say they are anorexic just because they have skipped a meal or two.

Don't say you have OCD just because you like things to be clean.

sorry, it just rubs me the wrong way.

Also, I hate when people are so homophobic. Like dear god. Just love who ever the hell you want, screw what people think. If you love them, then you love them. It doesn't matter the gender or race, if you love them then you do 🤷‍♀️

Sorry for the rant.