》Chapter 17 ➹ memories

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    《Wasn't she right?》Emma laughed《She knows you so well》

        Alec moved his eyes on the tiny blonde girl and spaced out.

~

*New York Institute*
9 months earlier


    《Can you please focus?》Alec scoffed annoyed.

    《I'm trying! This damn thing just won't work on me!》I yelled frustrated, referring to the huge bow in my hand. Alec rolled his eyes dramatically and sighed, before reaching me and grabbing the object.

        He positioned himself behind me and gently fixed the bow in my hands again. He explained how to stand still, steady, and how to focus on the target.

    《Release now》he requested. I did as asked, but the arrow flipped on the ground instead of flying. Failed. Again.

    《You're a disaster, screw all of this》Alec madly sighed and left, leaving me alone in the training room with tears in my eyes.

~

*New York Institute*
Present time


    《Please wake up》a low voice whispered, sending chills on my skin. Julian's words hurt just as much as Isabelle's, and Mark's, and literally everyone's.

    《J-Jules》I fought all the pain in my lungs.

    《Rach!》he quickly shook and instantly sent a fire message.

    《H-How's Magnus?》


        The door cracked open, showing a very worried and desperate Warlock. His hair were extremely messy, his face clean, his fluffy tired eyes of someone who hasn't slept in weeks.

    《Rachél》he carefully spoke, shaking.

    《Magnus》I smiled widely.《Please get cleaned up already》

        His lips curved up into a glimpse of smile, that soon disappeared, replaced by a sour frown.

    《I had prepared a speech, for this moment. But I somehow forgot it, what a fool》Magnus said with the saddest tone.

    《A speech?》I held back a laugh,《Am I recovering well?》

    《You've been lucky you have Lucifer's blood or else you would be dead!》he raised his voice in disgust. I looked down embarrassed, he continued.《Have you even thought about the consequences?! What if you died?!》

    《Everyday since that day. If I had lost you, I would've lost a part of my soul. I couldn't survive that. I had a choice. You would've done the same exact thing, and don't even try to deny it or I swear I'll yell at you!》


    《What about Alexander?!》Magnus sighed exhausted.

    《Alexander》I repeated with his same tone,《Would have been so devastated by losing you! Don't lecture me, Magnus. I did the right thing, and I would do the same thing all over again. Don't you get it?? I just love you two so much. You would've grown over my death and comforted each other but at least─》

    《DON'T. EVEN. SAY THAT NONSENSE.》a demanding deep voice echoed in the room.


        The tall black haired Shadowhunter crossed his arms against his chest. A flash of anger crossed his watery eyes as he stood there with a sharp piercing sight.

    《Alexander》Magnus sighed, tired.

    《NEITHER OF YOU HAD TO BE IN THAT SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE.》Alec shouted. He then calmed down and took a deep breath.《If I had been informed about your nonsense plan none of this would've happened》he blurted out.

    《Finally! Some emotion is showing! I'll leave you alone. Julian, come with me?》Izzy interrupted and left me, Magnus, and Alec alone.

~

        I warmly smiled as Magnus held my hand.《I'm better now. I hate when you two blame yourselves for something I did》I admitted.

    《Are you really playing your mind games in a moment like this?》Alec walked closer and huffed. He then showed a glimpse of a smile and rolled his eyes.

    《What can I say, I just seem to love you two too much》I smiled shyly.

    《You should seriously stop sacrificing your life for us》

    《You're referring to my first demon's fight?》I blushed and chuckled.

        He rolled his eyes playfully,《That's exactly what I'm referring to, stubborn》

~

/First Demon's Fight/
/Flashback/
9 months earlier


    《No. She's absolutely not ready for a mission. She's a disaster. She can't even hold a weapon without getting hurt》Alec argued with Jace.

    《She's trying her best. She had no idea how to even defend herself when she got here a month ago》Jace fought back.

    《Her best is not enough. This argument is over.》

    《Why do you hate me so much?!》I yelled from behind the tall Shadowhunter. He faced me and rolled his eyes.

    《If that was true, I wouldn't mind having you getting killed on a basic mission》

    《Alec, lose the grip already!》Jace fiercely stood beside me and helped me pick up a weapon.


        We left the Institute at 8pm, all ready and determined. All except me. Alec was right, I wasn't ready one bit. Killing just wasn't my thing, even if it was disgusting ugly demons. I could feel his strong sight on me like he was expecting me to be in danger and die anytime soon.

        The only thing he said to me was《Get out of the way. If needed, go back to the Institute and find help》before disappearing in the shadows.

        After twenty-five minutes of hiding behind a building, I heard Jace scream. My heart almost pounded out of my chest, racing abruptly. I grabbed a Seraph Blade and rushed to the center of the square.

    《RUN!》Alec yelled, laying on the ground. I froze and my eyes wildly moved from one direction to another.

        Jace was busy fighting three very ugly demons with huge mouths full of tentacles, helped by Izzy. Alec lay helpless in the middle of the road, holding his bloody abdomen. I took a deep breath and ran towards the helpless Shadowhunter.


        The Seraph Blade slid away from my sweaty hands. One of the demons slapped me with his tentacles, causing me to fly and drop my body violently a few feet away from Alec. I felt tears pouring down my face violently. Alec was right, I kept repeating myself. He was so right.

        I slid my body towards him and grabbed his bow. The demon caught my movements and sped towards us. I managed to stand, kinda, trembling. I positioned the bow as Alec had taught me, helplessly, my hands shaking. I heard Jace and Izzy yelling something at me as I released the arrow, that unexpectedly hit the demon in the right spot. Causing it to turn into dust in a matter of seconds.

        Okay, Rach, you got this. I repeated myself. I grabbed and slid Alec's stele from his back pocket and uncovered his abdomen. I tried to remember the healing rune, Iratze. I focused and carefully drew it on his bleeding spot, my hands still shaking.

    《Maybe you're not that bad》he weakly whispered with a small smile, I blushed.

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