Drastic Brothers: Secrets

51. Goodbye

Chapter 51

Goodbye

Once we were finally out of pack grounds I heard many howls. The howls of sadness, the howls of my friends I was leaving behind. I knew it wasn't their fault others didn't trust me but how could I stay knowing others didn't want me there. I held on more to Chris's arm when I felt I was about to start crying. Chris drove faster to the apartment, I knew he didn't want to see me cry. My breakdown was already in process. All I could think about was the good memories.

Life is very strange,things always seem to be good before they turned worst. Family has always been something really important to me, the thing I valued the most to me. Tears fall from someone for many reasons. It could be because your mad, sad, exhausted, aggravated, and sometimes happy. But the worst is when you start to cry, it doesn't stop like a waterfall. It continues and it's like it can go on forever. Luckily it doesn't but you cry until there isn't none left. That's what happened to me when I finally arrived in the apartment. The moment we were out front, I ran inside and went straight to my room. Part of me felt like this needed to happen but all at the same time I felt empty. Leaving Derek was hard, but saying goodbye to Justin was heartbreaking. I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Justin was always putting space between us, but today he invaded my space. He took the risk to kiss me. The kiss was mind blowing and everything inside me screamed to go get more.

"You should go back " Chris said.
"Come on,your too beautiful to cry" he whispered running my back.

"It hurts " I whispered.

"I know it does angel. But remember things always get better, it just takes time " he whispered.

"I hope it does " I said.

"I'm here as long as you want me here " Chris said.

"I always want you here. I don't ever want to be away from you Chris " I whispered.

"I'm happy you think that way but what made you decide all this ? I thought you were still unsure about a lot ? " Chris asked.

I sighed and looked down, I knew I would have to explain everything. I took off my shoes and got comfortable in the center of the bed. Chris just turned and looked at me with analyzing eyes. Whether he believes me or not, this is just something that was a gut feeling. I love everyone in the pack house, regardless of all the bad that has happened. I didn't leave because of spite or hating them, I left because I wanted them happy. It hurt leaving, more than I would like for it but I knew that was the only way everyone would be at ease.

"It was a gut feeling. Nothing was really planned, the only thing I knew for sure were a few things " I said.

"Few things ? " He asked confused.

Of course, I didn't really talk to him about anything. Actually, I haven't talked to anyone really these past weeks. Solitude made me think about many things. The pack, my decision towards my mates,the strange lady I see when I'm blacked out, and my vampire. She disappeared and it has been bothering me for the longest. When she first popped into my mind, I never believed that I could miss her. It wasn't something that anyone normal would go through and yet her presence missing was devastating me. No one really understood me except Justin. Sometimes I did feel bad that Jay didn't want to talk to Justin but I couldn't force Jay to accept Justin's decisions.

Vamp was the only thing that kept me sane, but after constantly not choosing Chris, she disappeared. Maybe in way, Vamp pushed me to see things that maybe I didn't want to see. Chris was always my best friend and in many ways the only person who truly knows me hundred percent besides Justin. Yes, the guys, Misty and even Sarah were amazing people but none of them could answer every little thing about me. Chris knew every single detail without asking, it's like he observed my reactions to anything and picked up on my every emotion. With him, there was absolutely nothing that he didn't know about me. I trusted him blindly and completely. Some may say it's a horrible mistake but I don't see it that way.