Drastic Brothers: Secrets

53. Thoughts

Chapter 53

Justin's POV

Watching her leave was painful, I had to stop myself from running after her and changing my mind. I had been her friend first before her love and I knew she needed this. She needed time to be away, being here wasn't good for her anymore. I knew everything had reached a point where there was lots of self doubt in herself and her trust she had in all of us. Her world crash and she realized something big to make her finally decide. When she stepped into the car I knew that I wouldn't see her in a long time. Something about her leaving this time wasn't the same, she not only broke all ties with us but she is distancing herself. We shared one last kiss, a kiss that shouldn't have stood for guilt, shame and desperation. I had desperately wanted her to feel my love for her but I couldn't help but let these emotions pour into our kiss. I knew she felt it because she kissed me back the same way. It was her goodbye kiss to me, and I couldn't say I blamed her. In all honesty, it was all my fault. I messed up everything because I was afraid. The howling of the pack brought me back to reality. It was a mourning howl for the member we just lost. Jay took over and shifted letting out the loudest and most saddest howl anyone could hear. He didn't stop the howling of loosing his mate, I didn't even try to get control back. I let him howl with sadness for the both if us. I had screwed up and never in my life had I wanted to go back in time. I had it all with her, she was my missing piece. One year. Almost one year having her close to me yet so far from my heart. But it was my stupidity that led me believe she loved Derek. Thinking back, it was always clear she still cared about me.

I walked to the cafeteria after speaking with coach. I saw my beautiful mate sitting with my brothers. I saw Jason walking up behind her and covered her eyes.I remember when I use to do that.

I saw her look at Jason confused. Hopefully she remembers me. I been keeping my distance because my wolf just wants me to claim her already and I can't. She doesn't remember me. Word around school is we broke up but no matter how many girls come and try to flirt with me, all I could ever do is think about is her. I saw her talking with the guys. I was currently sitting with my boys from football team.

"Man, why don't you just tell her who you are " Danny said bumping my arm.

I looked away from her and up to him.

"Bro you know I would never force this on her. Besides she seems happy " I said.

"Oh really,if shes happy then um why does she seem distracted? You know who has her attention now?" he said raising his eyebrow.

"I don't need you to tell me it's my brother" I said holding on to the table.

I was getting pissed of everyone reminding me that they spend so much time together. At this point I knew the bond was growing.

"Man relax, it ain't Derek who has her attention. She looking at you right now" he said laughing patting my back.

I looked up and saw her starring at me. I couldn't look away but keep starring at her. She looked away once she realized I was starring at her. I wonder why she wears shades now a lot ?

"I say she still loves you even if she doesn't seem to know. Shes still drawn to you Justin" Danny said.

"Your crazy and wanting to see things that aren't there. She's mates with Derek. Besides I met Leah " I said looking away.

"Look I get that your with Leah because her mate was killed.But Leah ain't Jane and you know that. If you push Jane away she will forever forget you" Alex said patting my back.

"She already did. I see the sparkle she has when she sees Derek now.I see the way she looks at him. I know because thats the same way she use to look at me. it doesn't matter anymore.Im going to bring Leah over to the pack today. She will start living with us" I said.