Queen

Chapter 18

It was Tuesday morning and I had class in just a few hours. I was fresh and wet out of the shower as I grabbed my towel and started wrapping it around my body, tucking in the corners around my chest to hold it in place. I walked out into the room and started going through my drawers to get some clothes to wear for the day. As I was crouched down, digging around in my lower dresser,

*thump* *thump* *thump*

I quickly stood up and looked back at my door.

"Who is it?" I called wrapping my arms around my body, holding it firmly.
"It's Shawn. May I come in?" I heard his voice from the other side.

"Give me one second!" I called before going back into the dresser and pulling out just some underwear, sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I quickly ran up to the door and unlocked it.

"Come in, I just need to put something on real quick," I say as I open the door for him then immediately run into the bathroom to get changed.

Once dressed I walk out to see Shawn laying on my bed as opposed to Lisa's. It seems a little weird but I suppose we are friends now so why can't he be comfortable around me? I smile at him as I walk up and sit on the edge of the bed.

"What are you doing way over there? Do I got cooties?" Shawn chuckled.
"Oh no I just didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable if I was too close." I laughed as I started inching closer.
"You're fine." He waved me off.
"So what brings you here this fine morning Mr. Mendes?" I asked crossing my legs.
"Oh, just thought we could hang out and chill or even go out today."
"That sounds nice but I have class at 3 today." I pouted.
"Well, it's barely 9 we have time to hang out. Maybe even go over a vocal lesson for you or try to come up with some lyrics for the song." He said as he sat upright. When he did I noticed his eyes wander down for a quick second to my chest but right back up to my face. It was then that I realized I didn't even put on a bra. I crossed my arms as I gave him a small smile.

"S-Sure that sound good." I agreed, slightly uneased. "Just give me one second," I said as I stood up and went to the nightstand. I quickly opened the drawer and snatched a bra from it. As quickly as I opened it I shut the drawer and jogged to the bathroom, holding my chest in the process. I'm glad Shawn can't see my face otherwise he'd know how embarrassed I was.

After that, I came back out to Shawn and instead of doing what he suggested we ended up talking.

"Oh!" I said excitedly and grabbed his hand. "You have to tell me about your tattoos!" I said tracing the bird on his hand, looking up close, now knowing it's a sparrow.
"Oh God, I have so many." He chuckled looking down at his hand.
"Really?!" I asked excitedly.
"Yeah. Look." He said and spread his fingers revealing an 8 on his right hand and a little elephant on his left. I gasped but he had more. He lifted his long sleeve up and showed me a beautiful design of a guitar made from trees.

"There's also another on the back of my bicep but my sleeves won't go up that far." He said.
"Just take off the shirt!" I blurted out in excitement. Not fully registering what I just said. It wasn't until Shawn looked at me surprised that I figured it out.
"Oh! I-I'm sorry... I just... uh... I was excited and..." I felt my face burning. I looked down and put my head in my hands. I just heard a light laugh from Shawn and then I heard shuffling. Confused I looked up for a moment only to see Shawn lifting up his shirt but what was underneath was even more fascinating than his tattoos.

I felt my jaw drop at the sight of his body. He was so muscular. I mean just from the clothes he wears you already knew he had muscles but up close and personal... I feel as if I was looking at a perfectly chiseled renaissance sculpture of the male anatomy. Lost in the moment I reached out and placed a hand on his abs. I felt the creases underneath my hand. It was so solid but also firm and warm.

"So this is really why you wanted it off." Shawn's voice broke me out of my trance. I jumped and quickly retracted my hand.

"I...I am so sorry!" I quickly apologized, looking away from him and getting that burning feeling on my face again. What is wrong with me?! Why am I acting like this?
"You're fine. Believe me, if I wasn't comfortable with any of this I wouldn't even have taken off my shirt in the first place. Just relax." Shawn said as he reached out and started rubbing my back.

"But look, there's also this tattoo." He diverts the conversation. I slowly turn my head back to Shawn. He has his right arm raised up behind his head revealing a tattoo of a lightbulb with blue flowers inside of it and little birds flying above the flowers.

"Wow," I say amazed.
"But starting with my first one is the guitar." He said putting his arm down and pointing back to the guitar, starting to explain it to me. I listened carefully not wanting to miss a thing.

(So I won't go into his tattoos or his meanings of them [because there's a lot wow!] but if you're truly interested in wanting to learn more about them this was my source: http://www.capitalfm.com/artists/shawn-mendes/tattoo-list-guitar-lightbulb-elephant-meanings/)

It took Shawn a little while to talk about his tattoos and their meaning but in the end, I was so happy to hear about them.

"To be honest, Lisa kind of pushed me to get them. She was going to make me get some different designs, you can only imagine how that argument went, but after all, I got them for me instead of her." He sighed running his hand over his sparrow tattoo.

"Well at least it was for you... but I can see Lisa's done quite a lot of changes to you," I commented looking down his body. This time making it obvious I was looking. He just laughed.

"Well yeah, but wouldn't you say it's for the better?" He asked.
"Well... it's like I said in high school. No matter what you change, even if it wasn't noticeable, I still think you're adorable." I smiled looking up at him. But he just frowned, standing up from the bed.

"Don't... Don't say that Cecilia it makes me..." he trailed off as he put his shirt back on.
"Oh. I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you-"
"No, no I'm not upset it just makes me think of... y'know everything that you told me and everything that Lisa's told me. I want to believe you but I also still have this trust for Lisa..." He sighed.

"Oh." Was all I could say. I felt a sting at my eyes and a knot twist in my stomach as I looked down at my hands.

"Cecilia I know I was probably the last person you'd date on earth back in high school and in a way I wanted to improve myself for you to see. At the time it was because I wanted you to see what you were missing but now... now I want it to prove that I can be enough for you." He said in a hushed tone. I just shook my head and closed my eyes tight.

"Shawn..." I croaked. Trying so hard not to shed a single tear. "I-I understand that Lisa was there for you... that she made you into what she wanted you to be but... I never wanted this. I never wanted you to think you weren't good enough for me, or good enough for anybody. In high school, you were so sweet and so funny, and downright adorable... but not once did I think you weren't good enough." I explained.

"I-I don't know..." He sounded discouraged.
"You don't, because Lisa does that to a person. She's done it to me, made me leave behind friends that cared about me so I could be a product in her pretty and popular factory. I'm telling you she's not as nice as you think she is. She's not doing you a favor she's using you, that's what she does to us." I sighed picking at my nails. Shawn just kept quiet.

"I... I gotta go. I'll talk to you later Cecilia." He said as he started heading for the door.
"Shawn," I called out to him before he leaves, "I liked you a whole lot in high school, and if there's one thing you should believe is at least that. I know your siding with Lisa, but if you know her as well as I do... you know she has a fetish for doing this to people." I explained. He didn't turn around, he just stood at the door listening to me until I was done, then left.