Cruel World | Yoonmin AU

28 | Show Me How To Love

Namjoon laid on his bed motionless as he stared at his ceiling.

Why can't he get Jin out of his head?

"Aaaaaarrrrggg!" He yelled, putting his pillow on his face in anger. "Why?"

He couldn't help to keep his mind from remembering each and every small detail. His laugh was the best thing to remember...

He pulled his pillow off his face to lay it on his chest as he went back to studying his ceiling.

He heard the door open, "Namjoon, sweety what's the matter?" His mom asked sitting on his bed next to him.

"Sorry, mom...just thinking." Namjoon didn't want to worry his mom about all of this.

"About what?" His mom smiled.

"Just..." think of something, "Thinking about college."

His mom laughed, "Joon dear I can tell it's not. Come on, is it about a girl?"

Namjoon sighed, "No."

"About a boy?"

Namjoon blushed thinking again about Jin, "N-no." He stuttered. What is wrong with him? He never stutters!

"Aww Joon dear...come on. You can talk to me." His mom ran her hand thru his hair.

"I don't really know what to say, mom. I've never felt like this! Jin has been constantly on my mind! Like it won't stop." He found himself starting to cry. "Is there something wrong with me?" He then asked as his tears fell.

"No, dear. I think there's something special about this boy, Jin. You just have to figure out your feelings."

"But that's just it, mom. I don't understand. Why am I feeling this way for a guy?!"

His mom smiled, "Namjoon, listen very carefully. Love has no boundaries. If you like a boy, then so be it. If you like a girl, good for you. Your not different, Namjoon. You just have feelings that you don't understand."

Namjoon continued to cry; was what he was feeling love? He wished love was easier to understand. Why couldn't it be as easy as a simple math equation?

"Thanks, mom...but I still don't know yet."

"Then think about it, dear. No one's rushing you." His mom kissed his forehead and leaves his room to give him time to be alone.

She stops at his doorway, "He must be something special if he's preventing you from finishing your homework." She must've noticed the pile of homework on his desk still left open.

Namjoon sighed as she closed the door. His mom was right. Jin was preventing him from thinking about anything else.

Why did Jin make his heart flutter? Why does his laugh make his stomach do flips? Why does Jin make him so happy?!

Namjoon asked himself all these questions to ask one more. Why does he want to be around Jin as much as possible?

He couldn't take his mind wondering anymore as he grabbed his phone and walked out.

"Mom, I'm going to take a walk."

His mom nods, "Okay please be careful." So Namjoon leaves to walk to the park nearby. By the time he gets there he noticed he was crying again. The reason was unknown but he sat down on a bench.

He looked at his phone, clicking Jin's contact.  Why did he want to call him? He wasn't sure but clicked the phone icon to call him. He hoped he wasn't in class at this time.

"Hello?" He heard Jin's voice on the other end, making his heart hurt as his tears fell.

"H-Hey Jin. Sorry...are you in class?"