If Only I Was A Little Braver | Park Jimin

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"dad, they released the report cards today." the younger shyly held his report card to his father, biting his lips to stop himself from smiling.

"position in the whole level?" the father didn't even raise his head to look at the boy.

"first!" the boy beamed, having confidence that this time, just this time, his father would notice his hard work.

but he was wrong.

"just because you're first now doesn't mean you're first the next time. if you drop, you'll get it from me. now, leave." the man didn't even spare a glance at his own son.

eyes forming tears, the boy nodded.

it was always like that.

he had always been the first in everything, he had never dropped, yet every time when he wants his father to realise it, his father would say the same thing.

is it so hard to compliment his own son?

he had never spared one glance at his only son, never ever.

was all the hard work of trying hard wasted?

just to end up back to the starting point?

that was when the boy realised how stupid he had been, being trapped in his own lie that maybe one day, he would make his father notice him.

...

"you're just doing all these to reach the same goal you had the last time, taehyung-ah." jimin knew the best.

"I know. I know I'm desperate. I want him to know that I am actually his son but the more I do things against my will, the more I realised how much of a coward I am to myself." taehyung threw his hands in the air.

"tae-"

"I don't know, jimin. it's like...I don't know who I really am!" he groaned.

"for a moment I try my very best to show the person I like that I'm actually better than who she think I am, the next moment I regret my actions! and you want to know what's worse? my one hell of a wonderfully built father never notices me even when I'm the lowest in class! wow!" taehyung sarcastically commented, back facing jimin.

"you did that... all for jae?" jimin knew it would be a hard decision for taehyung to be himself, to be that smart kid again, but he still did.

for her.

jimin couldn't help but feel envious yet impressed of him.

would he...also do that for her?

did he like her that much?

deep inside, he knew he did.

he was ready to sacrifice his life for her when she got kidnapped, ready to kill people when they tried to do the same to her, ready to rebel on those he knew he never dared to.

his everything.

"I can't believe myself, jimin. it's like she indirectly made me conquer my fear?" taehyung didn't know what to say, he was happy that finally, he was himself, yet he knew, maybe he wasn't.

jimin widened his eyes in disbelief.

so he was glad all along?

"that's nice. but it would have been nicer if you had told me earlier." jimin deadpanned, then maybe I wouldn't have been to cold to her.