If Only I Was A Little Braver | Park Jimin

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cameras flashed everywhere I went.

it's expected, Bo Gum and any other person would tell me.

after the news spread, it was as if I became a celebrity.

literally even moving my fingers were taken down and shared on the media.

"you're going out now?" Jimin asked me, his voice hoarse and deep as he sits up from the bed.

"I woke you up didn't I?" I went to the man and kissed his forehead, "I have to go meet my..."

I took a deep breath in then pursed my lips, "my mum."

Jimin's lips parted from surprise as he blinked, looking completely blurred from the fact that he just woke up.

"oh. do you need me to come along?" he wraps his arms around my waist, resting his head on my torso.

"nope. it's a battle I gotta face myself." I ruffled his hair, then leaving his arms and picking my bag up.

"baby wait." Jimin's voice cracked a bit as he forced himself out of bed, his hair messy and shirt folded inwards.

after that, he pressed a black baseball cap onto my head and passed me a black mask, "you'll need them. just like how I did."

then without even letting me thank him, he leaned down to capture my lips with his, this time pulling my bottom lip before he switches an angle and kisses me again.

that moment, my heart stopped, I felt a tight twirl in my stomach as I gulped, he was saying, I know you can do this.

I'll do this.

...

as I took small steps into the dark place and towards the reception, I took a deep breath.

I'm unfilial.

Jae Eun you're not fit to be her daughter.

I took my mask out, my eyes stinging with warmness.

I wanted someone to slap me, someone to stab me in the heart and tell me how stupid I was.

how could I?

I spent five years looking for myself, totally letting go of the fact that I have a sick mother in this country, all alone, waiting for me, waiting for her family.

I was her only kin.

her only daughter.

she needed me.

and I was too afraid to even meet her, all I could do was send money every month and make sure that she's well taken care of.

you abandoned her.

I choked on my tears as I bit my lips and pulled Jimin's cap lower to cover my face, "may I ask if Lee Ji-Ah is still in room 201?"

the lady looked surprised to have a visitor at this timing as she cleared her throat, "are you her family member?"

"yes."

"I would need your name to reveal information about our patients, miss."

"Kwon Jae Eun." I whispered softly, not finding any of the energy I gathered last night, convincing myself that I could do this.