If Only I Was A Little Braver | Park Jimin

제 22 장

and when none of us say anything, we both know the ending would be a bad one.

...

"I swear those were them!" jimin pointed at the currently empty space the two girls he saw was standing there.

"jimin..." jin walked towards him, leaving the pissed hoseok at a side.

"they saw us... holding weapons." taehyung groaned.

"and they walked off." namjoon made everyone switch their attention to him, even hoseok.

"what? we all saw those two walking off like they didn't see anything. they're way too calm. don't you guys get it now?" namjoon smirked nonchalantly.

"hyung this makes no sen-"

"they know." hoseok spoke in a low, deep voice.

namjoon nodded, averting his eyes to jimin.

"got your answer?" namjoon raised an eyebrow.

"I..." jimin was shocked, all along, she knew?

so that's why?

"so that's why you are acting so weirdly all along?" hoseok smirked unbelievingly at the man who was of the same age.

namjoon instinctively and sharply looked at hoseok who was fuming, clenching his fists, trying to control himself.

"hoseok I..." namjoon raised both his hands up to calm the man down but he realised he was just not helping.

this wasn't the plan. sohye coming along wasn't the plan.

"hyung..." then namjoon's head flew to jimin's direction.

man, the boy was ready to fight.

"you knew?" and when they had met eyes, namjoon didn't know why he had done that.

why he had decided it would be best to let jimin know that jae knew from the start.

namjoon never liked the company of this girl in his group, her presence would always bring misfortune to the group, risking their lives, making them too the extra, all for her.

as their leader, he was told to maintain the group's attitude and performance. however, if something or even someone was stopping them from doing well, namjoon would not hesitate to try and take it away.

he was trying to help.

and jimin not focussing made him want all of them to know that actually she is not as naive and pure as she looks like she is.

namjoon knew from the very start sohye and jae knew.

he was waiting. waiting for the time jae would learn to be smart and take a step back, leave them alone, let them be them again.

to stop interfering.

yet she did not say anything.

he was scared. scared that she would do something stupid. something that would make all of them go haywire. he couldn't and wouldn't afford to do such childish acts with a girl like her.

so he tried his ways.

he talked to jimin. tried to make jimin not like her.

this time, he tried to make them meet each other.

his hesitation, the look of being lost, the guilty look he shouldn't be having, made not only the two boys rage, but the rest triggered.

the last thing namjoon would want to receive is the disappointed look his own members would give him.

"I'm really, really, sorry. but have you seen your look when she merely said, I think you know best? " namjoon couldn't stand seeing his own member suffer alone.

not anyone knew what jae said to jimin.

the rest of the boys widened their eyes.

jimin was ready to lunge at namjoon but namjoon continued, "have you seen yourself nowadays? your solemn and unsure look, you're not even the park jimin we used to have. she isn't even worth it."

"yes, she rejected you. but in the first place, why did you break the rule of no involving personal feelings? and so if she rejected you, why are you so affected by it? is she that important?"

then the next thing that reached his mouth was a punch.

stumbling, namjoon wiped the fresh blood from his lips as he narrowed his eyes at the boy who was a few months older.

"how could you?" the boy was furious but none of them knew why.

"why are you even punching me? I'm not even referring to you." namjoon spat, causing the boy to be even more annoyed.

"do you even realise what you're saying? to jimin?" hoseok smirked nonchalantly.

namjoon zipped. he didn't know what to do or what to say.

the man opposite of him wasn't someone who would punch his own members for nothing.

"what's wrong with you, namjoon? we all know that this isn't even jae's fault." yoongi decided to softly join in.

"and it's already related to us in all forms of ways, not even because she is friends with jimin. but because she's also friends with sohye?" jin glanced at hoseok, then to the floor.

namjoon closed his eyes in frustration, reflection gazed upon him.

all the things he had been trying to do just for them. were they all just for nothing? was he that useless after all?

but he knew, no matter what, it was his fault this time. his fault to put all the blame on jae when he was just being stressed out at jimin's case.

he was stupid.

and he realised that now.

"I...I'm sorry." this time, his apology came out less reluctant.

he was genuinely sorry for everything, and at the same time, disappointed and disgusted by himself.

he asked himself the same question hoseok had asked him, how could I?

but jimin wasn't calm enough to deal with his bullshit.

so the young one just walked pass him, well aware that this entire mission thing was just a trap for them to meet jae.

his mind was full of how to face her, how to confront her, then what to tell her.

was she waiting for him to tell her?

maybe she really was.

and he didn't.

jimin harshly pushed his shoulder against his hyung and rolled his eyes before walking pass him.

namjoon sharply turned around and grabbed onto his arm tightly, looking down.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to-"

"why are you still explaining, hyung? I understand." but everyone knew he didn't.

"look jimin I just-"

"no! you don't. you don't understand anything." jimin looked into namjoon's eyes and the remorseful look on namjoon made jimin disgusted.

"jae..." jimin couldn't even bring himself to call her name now. he looked down.

jimin's determined eyes then once again met namjoon's sorry ones as he looked up,

"she is worth it."

and it was at that point that all of them knew the answer to namjoon's question,

she is that important to jimin after all.