If Only I Was A Little Braver | Park Jimin

제 20 장

loving you needs a lot of bravery.

...

"hold up, you like me?" I pointed at myself, lessening my own confidence.

it's not that I'm rejecting him if that was actually the case but I was utterly shocked.

because to me, I may be naive but I thought there was no way in hell he would like someone like me.

because we have both stated in the first place when we first met how much we despised each other's company that even Satan can't put us together.

we were practically magnets that either lost it's magnetism or we would be repelling.

jimin was a playboy, a rude guy who has no idea of his surroundings. selfish, secretive, and never smiles.

all his 'traits' would have been the last on my list.

since I'm here, being all cheerful, naive, innocent, people like me shouldn't be mixing with people like him.

we couldn't understand each other.

I never knew anything about him.

one by one, I had to find out myself.

it had clearly shown the trust we have between each other.

none.

so here I wonder, he actually likes someone like me?

or maybe the question is, do I like him?

my mind, it was screaming, so badly about how my entire body system knew the answer already.

yet this time, it was my heart.

I stayed there, in front of him, staring right into his eyes, those eyes full of expectancy, hope, affection, and slight worry.

he wasn't that jimin I knew at the start.

the one who gave no shit to girls, the one who dates one girl after another everyday, the one who cares about only himself.

he changed.

and if I could confidently say it, when he's around me, he changed a lot.

then it hit me.

those blood that people lose because of him, those sweat that people drop every time he touches them, those tears of the families of those people he probably killed.

why...are his eyes still so stable, unaffected, and beautiful?

why is he still...so him?

I can throw everything away. I can embrace every flaw he has because everyone does too.

but that?

I'll never know if I'm ready to face it all.

it's funny how I see him everyday, dance with him, cry with him, hug him, do almost everything with him but he never wants to tell me anything.

that was when it struck me, how am I supposed to like someone who doesn't trust me?

and on top of that, date that person?

"j-jimin i-" I was at a stop.

he raised an eyebrow, confused.

"I just... I don't know how to say this..." I bit my lips.