If Only I Was A Little Braver | Park Jimin

제 47 장

I sat at the edge of my new room, hugging my knees as I hid my face in between my knees and body.

tears streamed down my face, my chest hurt.

every beat of my heart was like a stab into it.

I want to stop breathing.

my throat felt tightened.

my breathing went fast, then it went slow.

then I didn't know how to breathe.

I placed one hand on my chest, then repeatedly hitting it.

tears strimmed down my dirty face that barely got washed for days.

then I felt a pang onto my head, causing every strand of my hair to feel the pain.

I screamed, grabbing my hair tightly, then pulling it.

it was painful.

but less pain than the one that I was experiencing.

pain for pain.

I let out loud cries since I knew no one could listen to me.

someone help me.

but I knew no one could. it was me. it has always been.

I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to see anything as if everything I saw was piercing through my eyes.

every part of me felt the pain.

it felt like sharp mental scraping onto my skin, and it just went deeper and deeper.

I didn't know I was screaming too loudly until an impatient set of knocks came, followed by a few voices.

"Jae Eun! are you okay?"

"open the door!"

I could barely lift myself up, letting my cold sweat drip on the floor.

and when I dragged myself to open the door slightly, I knew they could barely see my face.

"yeah, I'm fine. go back to sleep." I said, knowing I'm rude, but them coming didn't help.

it was a surprise I could speak.

my lips felt frozen, and everytime I moved them, I felt it tighten, not letting me talk.

before they could even say anything, I slammed the door shut, letting it lock automatically.

I'm sorry.

I felt the warm sensation running up my throat, choking my saliva as my nose felt ticklish.

like rain, the tears crawled down my face mercilessly.

I couldn't stop it.

it came down even without a single bat of the eyelid.

someone save me.

-

jimin stepped into the cold bathroom, the atmosphere accommodating to his attitude.

he dragged himself to turn the tap, letting the water fill the tub.

he sat on the edge of the tub, staring at the photo in his phone.

he laughed.

everytime he switched on that goddamn phone, that photo would appear.

he stared at it for awhile, lips then breaking into a small smile.

so pretty.

so cute.