Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (9)

I've been talking with Emelie but we don't have much time together so I guess Natalie has been my stone over these past few months. How much time have passed? I think I've just been breathing for too long and I absolutely lost track of time and it's pretty scary. How many poeple have I lost because I only wanted you? Emelie is a sweet girl, Natalie is a very good friend and Leslie is very helpful but you were all of that at once and it just makes me miss you even more and more. But I think I can't take this anymore. This is too much. This situation takes a lot of energy from me, brings me to tears, triggers anxiety... I'm not that good at giving up but I guess I have to, for me, for my health. So, that's it, I will try my best to interact with other poeple and forget about you. I honestly don't think I can do it and I don't know how to do it. A few months earlier I would have asked you what to do or how to do it but, even if I never thought this could be happening, now it's because of you that I need help. Now I don't have you here to ask for help or any other thing. I don't have you. Not anymore.

Cathy