Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (16)

I know that I love you, I know that I need you as well, but honestly how can you be so distant and not feel bad about it? Now I wonder if you really like me or if you remember me at all. I don't think you do. Why would you? Why would you after all? I'm not as good as your friends and I'm not as good as you needed me to be so maybe that's why you never came to see me. I stopped crying a long time ago over anything that happened between us but, sincerely, I wanna cry cause it seems like you don't care. I feel like you don't need to know how I am or where I am because you're okay without me. And the hole I had in my chest is starting to hurt so badly again. The thing is that I'm trying too hard not to let this broke me inside. This shouldn't smash my feelings and my thoughts, but the truth is that it really does. So now that it came to my mind, and it actually makes sense, now that I realize that you are okay, I wonder why I can't move on as you did. You always said that I was the strong one but obviously that is not true. I am stuck here. You moved on. So, who is the strong one after all? Maybe you just don't want to admit it but now I see that my strength was actually you. It's easier for you to see now how I am once I lost my strength. How do I gain it back? Tell me. Because I need it. My body needs it. So bad.

Cathy