Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (19)

I was thinking and maybe I judged you wrong. Maybe I thought you were my lucky charm but maybe you were the opposite. I had you and then you broke my heart and I don't know why but you took him too. I was happy with him because he was a great guy even if we were not meant to be together. How could you took all the happiness in my world? How could you took all the bright and sparkle every person had? How could you break your promise and break my heart into little pieces? I was so wrong. I was focused on the idea that as long as you were with me everything would be okay but that was a big mistake I made and now I'm only paying the consequences. You weren't my lucky charm, you were my downfall. How could I be so immature, so beguiled, so innocent, stupid, ignorant, naive? I'm angry, not with you, with myself. All this was actually my fault. I shoudn't be so obcessed with the idea that you were all the good in the world and I was save from all the evil and disappointment and regret... I was stupid and everything I least expected and was not ready for, happend. Well, thinking that I could have stopped all this pain and suffering causes me even more pain. My head hurts so much and my heart is beating so fast that I don't really think is going to slow down any time soon. How could I do this to myself? But, if I knew earlier would I separete myself from you to avoid this end? I don't think I could, because deep down inside I would always have this little piece of hope that everything was going to be fine and everyone was going to be happy as well. But, one day it will, right? I can only hope so.

Cathy