Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (18)

I was thinking that perhaps you and him going away was just good for me. I mean, if you two weren't okay with me it's better for you if you just are not. Does it make sense? My mind just keeps pushing me so I find a reason for your escape. Did I do something wrong? I feel like you broke up with me for some stupid reason. And it's not okay for you to do that to someone you supposedly like and care about. Why can't two people who like each other be together without interference? Because we were good and then we weren't. And it hurts, still. I think I've said this like a thousand times but I really just want to understand and I can't, though. If I figure this out I think I can move on but trying so hard to find a reason, some sence, in all of this, is not an easy task. And then again comes to my mind all that unanswered questions. And I wonder things. And my head spins so fast and so intensively that once again my health is on the spot. And more important than everything else is my health. Cause my body and my future don't have to pay because you and him decided to leave me at the same time. Was that the plan? Let me so fragil without you or him? It was a hell of a plan and what makes me sad is that it totally worked.

Cathy