Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (13)

What day is it? And what month? Because since you left I've never been so alive! Emelie has been my support and she can make me forget about you sometimes. But even happy things can be overwelming when people realise that I'm not like I used to be, because of you. I finally stopped crying and my brain is working again. And I have so many questions that sometimes it's too much for me and I just can't think at all. But the truth is that I feel better right now. I mean, I sometimes do things I shouldn't do but as any other human being I can also do things right and I admit it, right now, I'm doing the right thing, even if I can't do anything about us. But I hope and I pray that someday, closest or not, we'll see each other again and get along as we used to. It's obvious in my voice that all of this still bothers me but I'm getting better and better. And, maybe, when we meet again I'll be able to keep it deep inside and you'll never know how much this actually costs me. It's kind of a wish. My wish. I wish you, and everyone else, never notice how broken I am inside. First because it makes me feel vulnerable. Second, because it means that I'm capable of keeping it with me and from the others, who have no idea what is happening, the same people I don't want them to find out. It's hard. Honestly, I wish everyone knew what a loss looks and feels like. I just wish...

Cathy