Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (17)

I was never that person who loved to be surprised. I really don't like surprises even the good ones. When there are surprises you don't know what is happening around you and so you're vulnerable. Now I can tell that you walking away was the worst surprise I've ever had. And now I know that I totally hate surprises. And I also know that you left me so vulnerable that a simple leave can break my bones. I want to explain to you the consequences of that, the quantity of bad things that can happen to a vulnerable person, to me. Vulnerability means fragility. That also means weakness, insecurity, instability and indefensibility, which means that I no longer have a shield that protects me and so everything reaches me, strikes me, hurts me. Besides, it also means delicacy, which is worse than it sounds. Vulnerability means destructibility, which tells that this is an endless cycle that keeps hurting more and more every time. I hope you understand my present condition. I hope as well that you never experience something like this, it's awful and I feel sorry for you if you ever feel like this. Cause I'm much more hurt than mad at you so I still have feelings that allow me to feel sad for you. I am human, I have feelings, still.

Cathy