Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (28)

Breath in so I'll know you're alive. As well as every other day and every other letter I have questions for you. But this time around I prefer not to ask them directly. Instead, I'll say some things that have been immerging on my mind. If you used me, than re-use me please. If you still care or if you ever did just let me know. If there's anything I can do for you I promise I won't try to do it, I won't try to help. If you have something good in your heart turn back and let me show you mine. If you fooled me then do it again cause I really liked the way I was being made fun of, the way I was being a foolish steady girl. I miss that way actually. Let me be happy one more time and do it everything again. I am giving you permission to manipulate me, use me, to take control over me... do it! I would get lost if I had to go find you so please, meet me half way. I think it's fair. And once you reach me, don't say a word. I won't pronounce one as well. Let's just be quiet and feel the moment. The most wanted moment in the history of our lives. And I fail once again. I failed when I thought this is what you want too. And you probably don't. Let's say something then: if you come, if you meet me there, don't speak a single word. If you don't then I'll know this is not what we both want but what I want. As they say is needed two people to make a friendship work. But if you're tired I can always work for both of us. I still believe I can. But, can I?

Cathy