Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (15)

I used to think I didn't need anyone else but, even if I don't want to admit it, I need you. I've been thinking about how my life was and how my life is now. Before you and him and after you and him. It just seems like my entire life has turned upside down, a full one hundred and eighty degrees. Everybody can see the difference between the girl I was and the girl I am now. And I feel different. But I feel like even though I'm broken and sad I can go through everything. I wish everyone could feel that. I feel like anyone can break everyone. But honestly I just want to be happy. But, how do I know when I'm truly happy? Well, let's just say you're the biggest piece of the whole cake. And even if I prefer to show off that you don't matter, you actually do. I also need you to be happy. I think all this time I've been telling myself that you're okay and I don't deserve you or the reason that you left was my fault. And so I had to be okay because what was happening was all my fault and you were okay and I needed you to be okay. I need to be okay too. Even if it's true and the fault is all mine. But I need you and me to be happy. I need it. I need it badly. And I need it now.

Cathy