Letters for Rose {to be continued}

Dear Rose, (2)

I don't like making decisions. I mean, you just have to make decisions when something is wrong or when you don't feel well with something so, yeah, I hate having to decide. But I have decided. You're gone and he's gone and I have to return to my old me. Maybe not my 'old me' but my 'new better me'. What am I gonna do? You're far away from me and obviously you're not always here like you said you would be. I can't trust anyone. I'm too disappointed to share my things, my life with other people so I just don't. I don't open myself to people, I don't talk that much with anyone, I haven't been doing anything special. I just have been breathing. I'm alive and that's all. Living is no loger a priority and I never thought this could get that far. I don't want to live anymore. Staying here is so much easier than interacting with people and doing a lot of other stuff. Now, not only decisions are difficult, living is very difficult too.

Cathy