Falling for my brothers BestFriend ; sequel

Chapter 3

Once I became more stable , i gave Erin a huge hug , it was amazing, BestFriend hugs are amazing ngl , well needed .
Then mikey Hugged me sympathetically beofre we jumped on my bed and put a film on .
"Guess who brought you Starbucks and food for a movie day with your favourites? Yes that's right , your bestfriend " Erin says as she passes my drink and puts the food down on my bed , causing me to smile .

We all lay on my bed and put a film on
Titanic
At lest this will get all my tears out without crying over Brooklyn
If I even have anymore tears left 🙈🤣

Yup I have tears left , because guess what , I'm crying, again , this time over the movie tho .

Right this is annoying
I'm so mean like yeah their happy and I love my bestfriend but seeing them like this I can't take it .

"2 minutes " I say after looking at mikey and Erin , as they pull away from each other and I walk downstairs, taking a deep breath
That was me and Brooklyn once , except we had something so so special like wow , no words for us.

I hear footsteps coming Down after me as I turn around and see rye standing there .
"It's because their all over each other init"
"You know it" I let out a slight smile , sighing and looking down .
"Like ik shes my bestfriend and Yano well mikeys always been close to me like all of you , I love seeing them happy , they deserve it , but I would be lying if I also said I didn't hate it , in a way I despise it , that makes me sound like such a horrible bitch I know but i don't think anyone understands how low I am and how much this affects me , yes they can say they understand, but you don't honestly know how I feel unless you've went through this relationship as me in my shoes , all the obstacles we've been through together -" I stop myself
"All the obstacles we went through Together " I re phrase it
"Like no one knows man , I can't even explain it to u myself , I know in my head but to put it into words , I just can't , it's ruined me in so many different ways , look at me now, I can't leave the house , I don't like making an effort , my anxiety's got bad again , this has brought on depression, I'm on medication man , it's been a fkn month , and I'm just not me , i feel like I never will be normal agian , like what we had , was so special , I just can't, the whole situation I just can't put into words , any of it "

I begin to cry but quickly wipe them away ,
"I'm trying to make an effort , I'm trying to be positive and change , even the slightest bit because it's a lot for me in my stage now but it's physically and mentally draining , but I'm trying and I'll get better abit each day , like people think it's stupid , 'just over a little breakup ' it's easy to say but it's so different for so many reasons on so many levels , and once you get depression , that's another separate battle to fight too , that obviously stays for some time also . "

I sigh , wiping away my few tears which are slowly rolling down my numb face .
"And I feel like I'm gonna loose the boys because I don't go over anymore or anything like that, their my brothers , I can't , and I want to text him , see if he's okay , I want to see him I want him to be okay and happy but straight away , that would take a split second for me to get attached to him , even still , I am attached to him now , more than ever , which would brake me even more if I did that , I need to try stay away from him to heal right ? But then , you ." I look up to rye , lifting my head from the floor .
"You- i don't know how big or small those feelings for me were , only you do , and truthfully , it must brake you , being there for me like now when I'm hurting , hearing me speak about him , he hit u , because of me , I hope your brother bond isn't all ruined , i want u to be happy okay , forget all that , times like this , you've been there for me and u don't know how greatful I am for that , I've always been close to you , and I'm closest to you out of the rest , apart from,- well sort off "
I pause as I miss his name out
"You are my bestest ever boy-friend and I love you sm okay , I hope you've healed and ur okay mentally , I love our bond I just hope u have gotten over everything in the past with us and I hope u and the boys are happy together , you and him . "