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Liked by roadtriptv, HRVY and 4586 others @ameliaxcantwell- just because I let you go, doesn't at all mean I wanted to . My crazy heart belongs to u always 🖤
I go home and let myself in as my parents are out at the moment . I jump into the shower, music playing , standing there quite hopeless , zoning out , letting the hot water run down my numb body . I try to stop thinking but my mind is ticking constantly. I'm doing well , well i like to hope , but then the fucking tears come as I stand there looking at the wall with my playlist playing in the background of my blurred hearing . I can't get him off my mind . Maybe these songs don't help but I'm in my feels .
"I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me "This all or nothin really got a way of driving me crazy "I need somebody to heal , somebody to know , somebody to have , somebody to hold "It's easy to say , but it's never the same , I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain "Now the day bleeds , into night fall, and your not here , to get me through it all. "
Fuck . My heart hurts .
I get out the shower and put my favourite comfy crushed velvet grey 'lounge suit' you can wear it as pjs and clothes so it's a win both ways ;) I apply a face mask and get under my covers , switching on Netflix and watching a movie .
Then a unknown number texts me.... weird . Hey Me- who's this ? Unknown - we met a few weeks ago , I stepped in when your friends had trouble ? Me- oh yeah , hey how are you ! Sorry I didn't get your name ahah Unknown- my names Jason, yours is Amelia right ? Atleast that's what ur saved as in my phone 🤷♀️ Me- yeah im Amelia ahah Jason- I was just wondering if you would like to meet up for a coffee or something? Me- yeah sure when ? Jason- could you do like 20 minutes or is that too short notice ? I hesitate before typing back Me- no that's fine , where ? Jason- do you know the small shopping centre ? Westfields ? Me- yeah course ! See you soon Jason- see you soon beautiful
I sit on my bed contemplating weather I made the right decision. It just feels bad . I'm meeting up with a boy who I don't know and I've just finished with the love of my life . There's nothing to it though . I guess I can be friends with him. It's just hard when the only thing I can think of is brook and I want to shut myself away . I know that if I do what I'm wanting to do , it will make my depression worse and I need to get through it by staying positive and strong . He called me Beautiful though . I don't like that . Maybe I'm just thinking too much and he's being nice . It just dosent feel right when it's another boy saying it. Idk I wash my face mask off and brush my hair , leaving it down , putting on my coat and shoes and leaving the house .
