The Possessive CEO

CHAPTER XXXIX

Chapter 39: Him

Kalev Stanislaski's Point of View

I remained calm and rational. I can't let this motherfucker ruined my mood, and I don't want to scare my little angel when I'm angry. I tried to restrain myself while looking at her phone.

"He had had investigated her. Míerda." I cursed. My attention focuses to my lovely girlfriend who is sleeping unsoundly in our bed.

Is there any possibility that I might lose her?

My stomach started to churn. Naalala ko na naman ang usapan namin ni Nikos kaninang umaga. He's here in Rome, Italy. Doing something for me. At si Nikos ang pinuntahan ko kanina. I really went outside early leaving Marsh sleeping in the bed this morning. I can't help myself but to stare with her and tuck some strands of her hair at the back of her ear. "My love. I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Do you think you can keep a secret for too long? What the fuck man. Man up, will you?!" I stared blankly at Nikos. I'll do everything for her. Kahit siya na ang unahin ko kesa sa sarili ko. Pagdating sa kanya I'm selfless.

"Stop lying to her. Maawa ka naman sa tao, Kalev. She's been so passionate and lovely at the same time. She's sincere and once a broken girl." My blood started to boiled. My hand clenched into fist.

"Do you think I'm not aware of this Nikos? And I'm not lying to her. How could I lie if she's my everything and the woman I want to spend my entire life with." I said calmly. I'm not the type of guy who resolves things with fist. I'm afraid I'll go overboard. Hanggang sa makakaya ko, I want to resolve everything logically. Pero pagdating kay Marsh, I become impulsive. Lalo na nang mabastos siya sa sarili kong bar. I can't help but to strangle the guy to death. Sa ginawa ni Haneah kay Marsh and I almost choke her using my own hands. But I refrained myself because Marsh might be afraid if she's aware to what I'm capable of doing.

"Keeping a secret is a form of lying. The more you keep a secret the more pretentious you become." I pounded my fist on the table. Hindi ako nagsalita hence, I think what to do next. "I don't want to hurt her."

"Do you think you're not hurting her in the process? Hindi mo ba nakikita o napapansin man na lang na baka naghihintay lang siya na sabihin mo sa kanya ang gumugulo sayo? Kung hindi lang kita kilala baka isipin kong natatakot ka. You're afraid of her reaction, na maiwan ng taong mahal mo, and especially you are afraid of emotion. Overflowing emotions once ruined your life that's why you limit yourself with everything. Hindi ka ba napapagod?" I stopped thinking what to do next as Nikos looks at me.

"Tell me Kalev. Saan ka ba nakatira ngayon? In the past, present, or in the future? Hah! Hindi mo na pala kailangan sumagot dahil alam ko na. Your body is in the present yet your soul is stuck in the past that means you don't have a future. Seriously, your like a bird inside a cage, wings are clipped."

"This is the price I access to paid for." Yumuko ako. I need to control myself. I can't let my emotion win this time. Nikos, don't provoke me.

"You keep resolving everything using your brain, your intelligence, your logic but emotions are important too. At dahil lagi mong ginagamit 'to." Sabi niya at tinuro ang sintindo niya. "You forgot to feel." And he pointed his chest where the heart lies.

"What do you know?" I glared at him. There's something creeping inside me. I started to got irritated.

"I'm telling you this because I'm a concern citizen not a lawyer but your cousin. Lahat ng sinimulan mo matatapos na lang bigla and it will be your destruction. Ikaw din ang nagdadala ng chaos sa buhay mo. Once and for all bakit hindi mo lang ito tapusin? Sa mga araw na dumadating mas lalo lang ito lumala. And what will you get in return? Sadness, loneliness, and a broken heart. Kung natatakot ka sa magiging reaksiyon ni Marsh and her judgement, if she decides to leave you even you explain to her everything, then the love she feels isn't as strong as you imagine..."

"...or do you really love her? Or just drown to the idea that you're in love?" I avoided the topic. There's a right time discussing that.

"I called you to discuss important things Nikos. I don't want to hear your side about this." I said as I remained calm as I can muster. There's a growing lump in my throat as I started to get uncomfortable to my sit. Hindi na ako magtataka kung pagdating mamaya, I'll go ballistic.

Imbis na makinig si Nikos sa akin, sinarhan niya ang file na dala niya at tumayo sa pagkaupo. "Ano pa ba ang mas importante dito, Kalev? Don't tell me you're gonna run away again and pretend that everything is alright. All you need to do is ask for forgiveness!"

"It's not that easy!" I can't fucking calm down now.

"Nothing is easy! Sa mundong ating ginagalawan walang madali. Kailangan mong paghirapan ang lahat. Even choosing and deciding is hard. Don't tell me you're really scared, Kalev?" My face remained stoic.

"What if I am? Who wouldn't be?" Nagpakawala ng malalim na buntong si Nikos.

"Tell her, Kalev. At tsaka ka na magisip ng kung anong gagawin mo kapag nasabi mo na lahat ng gusto mong sabihin. Trust me, the burden will go away." Bumalik ako sa pagkaupo. "I called you to do something, Nikos. And what you're doing right now is not what I needed. Marsh is in danger. Find someone who wants to inflict pain to her." Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa mukha niya but I disregarded it right away. Yes, she's in danger. Hindi niya ito napapansin but I do.

"How about Haneah? Siya lang ang may motibo."

"I don't know. Just continue what you're doing and we're cool." We talk until I received a text message from my girl—Marsh. Agad akong umalis without formally saying goodbye to my cousin. My blood started to boil from anger. I'll do everything to keep Marsh. Everything with any means. Legal or not. I don't fucking care anymore. Bought bunches of flower and went to the hotel right away.

I was back in reverie when I heard her snoring a little. I chuckled. She's so cute. Mukhang napagod talaga ang prinsesa ko sa date namin kanina. Umupo ako sa kama habang hinahawakan ng dahan dahan ang kamay niya.

"Yes, Nikos. I really love her. Not because I'm drown to the idea of being in love but because I really feel strong emotions inside me." I whispered subconsciously when I remembered our topic earlier. I didn't discussed it to him and simply avoided the topic. My main reason is: Kung gusto kong sabihin na mahal na mahal ko ang babaeng nasa harapan ko, gusto kong siya mismo ang makarinig and not Nikos. He's out of the picture. At first, I didn't know I'm capable of loving a woman better than myself.

Hinalikan ko ng dahan dahan ang noo niya bago lumabas ng kwarto and headed to the kitchen. Getting a glass as I pour a brandy on it. I've decided to drink while thinking.

Drinking from the glass, I walked to the side where the piano is located. There's really a reason why I decided to take this hotel room. Having a nice view of the City and of course the piano. Sat down on the bench, putting the glass down and started playing—Moonlight Sonata, the First Movement. And let myself drown to the music.

Pounding the keys so hard and put all my frustrations to the music piece.

How long can a man could live with a lie?

I, too, don't know.

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