I feel like I failed as a parent.... the extent of Troix's trauma hit me every single time he cried out whether it be me closing his bedroom door at night, or me putting him in the care to take him and Jakari to a checkup, or just random moments when he would just start bawling uncontrollably... each time felt like it was my fault that this happened. Toussaint tried to warn me and even though he left out the part about Noah's name being on this hit list, the fear in which he spoke should've been enough to make me consider his offer..... But I hesitated because I trusted that Noah wouldn't let anything happen to any of our children and though I didn't blame Noah or even Cori for what happened, I blamed myself because this all could've been prevented had I acted sooner. I needed to sit down with Noah and weigh our options, but he was still fuming from his last conversation with Saint and once he gets into one of his moods it was hard to talk to him... maybe I need to call a mediator to help me and Noah at the very least get the ball rolling.
"Can you pass that jar of olives over here." Camille said pointing across the table, they were under the impression that I needed a girls day so Camille, Lauren, Ivanna, Carly, and Alex's girlfriend Norelle were all here watching movies with me and Khaliah while Noah took the boys out for some 'male bonding' with Jose, at first it was coo but when half of the women here were pregnant let's just say emotions were all over the place.
"So what are y'all doing? I know Saint must've at least spoken to y'all about what's going on." I said looking around the room.
"Me and Ala'ven have discussed it and he wants me to go stay with his Aunt Tiana, I really don't agree with it but I know it's for the best... I have a child to think about and I need to put his needs before my own." Camille said rubbing her stomach.
"See I disagree... we're stronger together and Saint's plan of sending us all over the world is flawed as fuck, that just gives whoever this person is a chance to pick us off one by one, no shade but I'd trust a dog before I'd trust Saint's security." Carly said picking up the remote.
"I hear you which is why I went to my mom and told her everything that's going on.... see my mom has money on top of money on top of a diamond mine full of money and she has top of the line security, not those mercenaries that Saint hires. I'll be fine and so will my baby..... but of course, Armani agrees with Saint." Ivanna said grabbing the jar of peanut butter.
"If we're voting then I agree with Aunt Carly, we're stronger together.... and I trust that Saint will handle this without sending us all over the world." Lauren said.
"Wasn't Saint in charge of security for Uncle Zyshaun's wedding? And wasn't Saint the LAST person Uncle Zyshaun saw before his death? And wasn't it Saint's security that was SUPPOSED to be watching Cori when Troix got snatched up.... I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe there isn't some boogeyman, maybe the person behind all of this is right in front of us. My only question is what's his motive?" Ivanna said looking around the room. "Then there's Noah.... he's been losing it ever since Juelz came into the picture and once Aunt Michelle died and he's been different, plus he has the perfect motive; Uncle Zyshaun's wedding was the perfect opportunity to take out Juelz and when that failed he decided to go after the man who Juelz was looking to build a relationship with, his father. Don't mind me though I've been watching Lifetime Movies." Ivanna said.
"Ivanna shut the hell up you sound stupid as fuck.... then again you went off and pulled a Cardi B and married a nigga with four kids by four women so I'm not surprised. Saint isn't behind any of this now I don't agree with his plan to send us into hiding but I doubt that Saint would do anything to hurt Troix or that he would kill Uncle Zyshaun and Aunt Vanessa. As for Noah.... that isn't even a possibility." Lauren said clearly getting irritated.
"Then why is he hanging out with Juelz's sexy ass? Look all I'm saying is Jade your baby daddy is sketchy as fuck and the fact that Saint is all buddy-buddy with him now, even after everything Juelz has done is kinda suspect. And Noah is losing it... just look at him." Ivanna said and with that, I heard a bunch of laughter coming from upstairs so I knew Noah and Jose were back with the kids, so I excused myself and walked upstairs with Khaliah to find Noah in the kitchen making a sandwich.
"I think Nasir is going to be our problem child." Noah said and I realized with a jolt that those were the first words he's spoken to me since we left the hospital. "This lady said that he was cute and that he looked just like me and I swear he called her a bitch, that little dude had the meanest look on his face too when he said it."
"Nasir is a sweetheart, he doesn't give me any trouble whatsoever neither does Khaliah or Jakari but Troix..... I blame you for how spoiled he is and that bitch word he definitely picked up from your side of the family." I said smirking.
"Jade now that I've had some time to calm down..... I've realized that I can't change how I feel, I can look at you and tell you're giving some serious thought into what Saint said but you gotta trust that I'll give my life to protect you and all four of our children." Noah said looking into my eyes.
"And that's what I'm afraid of Noah.... you will give your life for your family and I love that about you but if there's a way that you don't have to put yourself at risk shouldn't we at the very least consider it?" I asked touching his hand and I could see Noah's temper starting to flare up again.
"I'll think about it......" He said as Nasir waddled into the kitchen and started pulling at Noah's pants legs. "Every single time I try to eat something he finds me.... I tried to discreetly eat some M&M's and he was right there pointing to my pocket. Man come on..." Noah said scooping him up. I stood in the kitchen cleaning up the mess he made when my big brother Jose walked into the kitchen wearing his serious face...
"Wassup Lil' Sis.... can we talk?" Jose said and I followed him out to the patio we sat down at the table and I could tell he was nervous because he couldn't meet my eyes. "Jade, me and Saint have been talking and I agree with him, you need to get your kids and go.... look I love Noah, that's my little bro but he's wrong on this and yes I was listening to y'alls conversation when he says he'll think about it, that tells me he's already made up his mind."
"Jose... this is a situation that me and Noah have to be on the same page, I can't just make this decision on my own. I have to trust Noah's judgment." I said unconvincingly.
"Jade, look what happened to Troix.... that boy is traumatized and I hate seeing my nephew like that and I can't believe I'm about to say this but even Juelz feels like you need to go, I hate that nigga but one thing I will say about that pussy ass nigga is that he has you and your children's best interest at heart... he's still a bitch though." Jose said. "Just give it some thought, whatever you decide I'll support you."
After every left me and Noah were sitting in the living room and while everything that was said earlier played in the back of my mind it was very difficult to focus on that with Noah in front of me, he was in the middle of the living room doing pushups with Troix and Jakari attempting to copy him and seeing his muscular back, damn it's been a while since we've......
"Jade I've thought about it and I think we should put it to a vote, just between immediate family; my parents, my brothers, Jose, we'll have a trial like how Uncle Zyshaun did Young Mon. Saint can present his argument and I'll counter and let the people decide." Noah said standing up and his body was just.... yeah it's been waaaayyy too long.
"Noah this is a serious situation and you wanna turn it into some game?" I asked and he shrugged.
"If I can't make fun out of this then all I'll do is focus on how fuc... frustrating this situation really is and I'll get mad and.... ayy eyes up here." Noah said smirking. "Look I'm willing to give Saint a chance to convince me, that's all I can promise and I feel like..... Jade seriously?" Noah said exasperatedly because as hard as it was to hold his gaze there was something else that had my attention. "Jakari and Troix y'all wanna go to PawPaw's house tonight?" Noah asked, and of course they did so thirty minutes later the kids were walking out the door with Khalil and Marcus, once they were gone Noah stood by the door staring at me.
"Why are you staring at me like that Noah?" I asked playing coy, Noah didn't respond he just triple-locked the door and walked over to me, leaving a trail of clothes behind him as he moved closer and closer...................................
