Buses & Bunk Beds (Zarry)

Chapter 38

Liam's firm voice cut through my confusion. "Zayn, go with Niall. I'll take care of them," he said before walking towards Harry and Perrie with a purposeful stride. I tried to keep an eye on them from over my shoulder as Niall pulled me towards the back of the bar, but I lost sight of them just as Liam stepped in between them.

"What the fuck was that about?" I asked no one in particular. Louis and Niall both just shrugged, obviously as clueless as I was.

"Don't worry about it, Zayn, I'm sure Liam will have it all sussed soon," Niall reassured me as Louis ordered us a round of drinks. I nodded, though I couldn't imagine what had possessed them to speak now, after months of ignoring each other.

Perrie and I had had exactly one conversation since Harry and I broke up, and I think we both came away from it with a better understanding of where the other person was coming from. I, for one, now understood for sure that Perrie was a lunatic, though our talk had made me see that she probably was a lot less malicious than I had given her credit for.

I'd headed straight for her tour bus on that horrible night when Harry had left me standing all alone. The shock of the break up hadn't fully hit me yet, but I had one question that I needed to ask her.

"Why?" I asked as soon as she met me outside the bus. "Why would you do this to me?" My voice was thick with emotion, but I was barely holding onto my sanity at that point, and I had no strength left to pretend to be strong.

"I'm sorry, Zayn, I really am. But when it comes to Harry you've never seen reason. You've always wanted so badly to impress him and be like him, ever since the moment I met you. You can't see it, but you're not yourself when you're with him."

"Don't you see, I'm more myself when I'm with him. I'm the person I always wanted to be with him; the person I'm supposed to be."

"Zayn, you can't ever really be with him, you know that right? Management would never allow it, and how do you think the fans would react? How do you think your dad would react? Things would be so much easier, so much better, if you're with me."

I hated how true some of her words rang to me. I was all too aware of how much my father would hate me being with Harry, and I knew that things would be easier, much easier, if I was with her or someone like her. But easier didn't mean better, and I was still livid that she'd taken the decision out of my hands.

"It's not up to you, Perrie. You can't just make us happen. I love Harry."

"I know you care about him, Zayn, and that's why I had to step in, before you fell even harder for him. I knew that he wouldn't want to go public, and think how much worse this would feel further down the line. Now that you know the truth - that he doesn't love you - you can go back to the way things used to be. I know you're mad, but you cared for me before and I hope you will again. We were good together, Zayn, and we can be again."

I just shook my head and backed away from her, her words playing on repeat in my head. He doesn't love you, he doesn't love you, he doesn't love you.

I was snapped back to the present when Liam joined us at the bar, but he wouldn't tell me much, and I soon realized that I had more pressing concerns. Harry had taken a seat on the other side of the bar, directly across from us, and a steady stream of girls joined him for a drink.

The boys knew that this situation could easily become a disaster, and they did their best to distract me. I kept one eye on Harry's face though, watching to see if he was smiling too brightly or leaning in too much or flipping his curls with too much conviction. Watching to see if he was looking at someone else the way that he used to look at me.