Buses & Bunk Beds (Zarry)

Chapter 50

I'd been awake for most of the night, too many emotions flowing through me for sleep to be possible. I was so excited about moving in with Harry, yet terrified at the same time. He'd quickly become the most important person in my life, and I was scared of how much I needed him. I felt like I couldn't live without his kisses and his hugs and most of all his love, and I knew that us living together, for real, all the time, would mean that he would literally be essential to every part of my life, from my work to my home to my heart.

I looked over at him, fast asleep on his pillow. His hair was pulled back into the little bun he'd been wearing lately, and he looked so relaxed and peaceful that I envied him. I knew that he worried more than he let on, but he seemed to be able to push his cares out of his mind at will, and I hoped that this trait might rub off on me over time. Just being able to look at his handsome face seemed to quiet some of the thoughts racing through my head, and the way he was holding my hand tight against his chest made me want to focus on the here and now, and what was most important.

I knew that our appointment with Modest was going to be tough, and I wanted to make sure that he and I were on the same page before we went in. They'd tried to arrange separate meetings with each of us, but we'd refused. We were a team, a couple in every sense of the word, and they needed to realize that. They'd been bullying us since the start of our careers, but we were no longer naive teenagers. We'd had time to reflect on what really mattered to us, and I was prepared to fight for it. And I wanted Harry to fight for it too.

The devastating consequences of our last time we'd seen Nancy were still fresh in my mind, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to rest until I told Harry how I was feeling. I scooted closer to him and ran my hand over his cheek, enjoying how warm it felt under my fingertips. He stirred but didn't wake up, so I gave him a soft kiss on his lips. Like always, he smiled before he even opened his eyes.

"What time is it?" he murmured.

"It's still the middle of the night. I just need you to wake up for a minute."

"Fine," he sighed, eyes still closed. "But you're gonna have to do all the work cause I'm not moving."

"Not for that," I chuckled. "I just know I won't be able to sleep until I talk to you."

"What's wrong babe?" he asked, seeming to truly wake up for the first time.

"Nothing. I've just been thinking a lot...tomorrow's a really big day for us. We've got the doctor's appointment with Jade and then the meeting with Nancy, and it's going to be a lot to take in. But no matter what happens, I want you to know that I'll do whatever it takes not to lose you. You have to know that if it came down to choosing between you and my career, I'd pick you."

Harry was silent, and I started to worry that I'd said too much, or that maybe he didn't feel the same way. I knew that he loved me, but deep down I still worried that I wasn't good enough for him, or that he'd get sick of being with a guy, or just sick of being with me. But then he smiled, big enough to light up the entire room. When he smiled at me like this I could feel his happiness radiating outwards, seeping into me and filling me with joy.

"I love you so much," he declared as he rolled on top of me and started showering kisses all over my face. "And I completely agree. We've been rich and famous for four years now, and it's been great, but after finding out what it's like to be in love and to be loved I would never want to go back to how it was before. Being with you has made me see what's really important," he said, his words echoing my thoughts.

"Sometimes I feel like this has been like a whirlwind relationship, you know? But then I think back on how long we've known each other, and how I've, like, cared about you that entire time, and it feels like the longest courtship ever," I admitted.