Lyrical Souls [h.s]

6.3 - The Other Side - Paris

The week after I had to go back to Paris. It's one of the most beautiful cities in the world, but after living there for 6 months years ago, I wasn't much of a fan. It's no exaggeration when people say Paris is one of the most romantic cities in the world. And in the entirety of my time there, I couldn't be more single, and everything around me reminded me of that, all the people cuddling, all the tourists who come to visit are in pairs, and the scenery is so beautiful that each time I see something exceptional all I can think about is 'I wish I had someone special to share this experience with'. And here I am again, in Paris, alone. I could've asked Alex to come, he wanted to. But I'd be too busy, it wasn't fair. I got there in the morning, quickly settled in the hotel room before going out for breakfast. It was quite cold, so all I could think of is to feel the taste of the Café Viennois with a Croissant and an Eclair au Chocolat. French Pastries and seeing my sister again is always the highlights of my visits to France. But that time, I was there to promote my book, something I never thought I'd get to do, so it's safe to say I was very excited about this trip. After the delicious breakfast, I got to the bookshop where the book signing event was being held. Just like last time, I was introduced, I came up, said my speech thanking everyone, and proceed to read a passage from my book. This time I chose a different part.

For the first time in months, I saw the familiar chocolate curls bouncing off as he walked toward me. I can feel my heart skip a beat as I smell his perfume for the first time in what seemed like forever. On a cold winter day, I'm shaking even though I've never felt warmer. The man I fell in love with and lost has finally found me. The sparkling green eyes of his finally found mine, and in one swift move, his long strong tattooed arms found their way around my trembling body, holding it as closely as possible. Once again, the world has stopped, once again, it's just him and I combined into one as he kissed me for the first time in forever.

I can never get used to the sound of the applause echoing just for me, for something that I wrote. But what's truly overwhelming is when I see people getting emotional reading something I wrote. To be able to transfer feelings through writing is simply amazing.

The signing portion of the event went on swiftly, no interruption, no one being rude, everyone was really nice, the support and the number of people coming were great. Although there was one weird moment, a guy I've never seen before came up to me wanting to sign his copy but as I opened it, I found a message already written on it. I'm sorry Cassie, I thought I could stay away and let you live your life and let July fades away in your memories. But I can't do that anymore, you took a piece of my heart with you when you went back to London and I want it back, I need it back, I miss you, Cassie. I want you back. I love you, H.

I looked up at the guy confused, 'Did Harry actually wrote this?' I thought to myself.

'Any problem Miss Miller?' The guy asked me and I shook my head and looked back at the book and wrote Nothing has changed, not my feelings, and not the reasons holding me back. I'm truly sorry. I miss you too, but it's better that way. Hope you liked the book. Love always, Cassie.

After a few days of work, I had a day off before I had to go back to London so I went to see my sister Sophia and her husband Marcus and their little baby Zack. We met in a park where they let Zack play on the swings while I caught Sophia up with everything that has been going on.

'So what do you think I should do?' I asked her frantically.

'Hmm... It's a tough one. Your head says Alex, you're heart says Harry. If you choose Harry, it's gonna be a mess. On the other hand, if you choose Alex and you don't love him as you love Harry, you're not gonna last. Honestly, I think you should choose neither. I'm sorry, I know it's tough. One thing for sure, you can't stay with Alex. I know you think you like him enough to be with him forever, but take it from someone who's been with the same man for almost a decade now. If you don't love him with everything you have, if both your heart and your mind is not completely with him, it's not gonna last. So, break up with Alex for both of your sakes. And either forget about Harry and be single for a while or get over all the things that are keeping you from him.'

'I get what you're saying, and maybe you're right. But I'm just not ready to give up on Alex yet. Sure we fought in the past but things have been so good lately. I still think this could work'

'If you think it can work then why are you thinking about Harry?'

'Because he's everywhere! Everything reminds me of him! And I have that weird feeling he's closer than I think. He was there in the bookstore on Monday, I didn't see him. But for some reason, I decided to read a different passage from the book. I read the part where she sees him again after a long time. And then this guy came with a message from him. It's so weird! I can't stop thinking about it! We always had that strong connection. It's almost like we're psychic but only when it comes to the two of us. It's like we can read each other's mind and sense when we're near each other even if consciously we don't really see or talk to each other. I can't shake that feeling and I can't take him off of my mind.' I explained.

'Is he here right now?' She teased.

'Ha ha... very funny!' I said sarcastically before continuing in a more serious tone, 'He's in Manchester today for a concert.'

She slapped her palm on her forehead, 'So he's stalking you, and you're stalking him, and none of you both has the guts to actually directly talk to the other! Idiots!'

I laughed at her sudden outburst and then shrugged because, at that point, I didn't have any valid argument. So we went back to Marcus and Zack and went for lunch.

I'm not much of a baby person, I'd rather be anywhere other than in the same room with a baby or a kid. But when it comes to my own nephew, the rules don't apply anymore, I hold him and play with him and talk to him and everything! We were walking around the streets in the Saint-Michel and we started to get tired. Marcus and Sophia when to get hot beverages to-go from the nearest coffee shop while I sat down with little Zack on the Seine's bank, trying to keep him entertained so he wouldn't start crying noticing his parents aren't around. It was a normal outing with the family, or so I thought.

A few hours later, while waiting in the airport for boarding, I checked the news on social media. And Surprisingly, it was about me, little old me who didn't want to be famous. Between the success of the blog and the book and the Harry summer fling speculations, it was only a short time before all kinds of weird rumours started spreading about me. Turned out that someone recognised me while I was alone with Zack and they took a picture of it and posted it on social media with a caption saying Blogger/Author Cassie Miller, who's also been linked with Harry Styles on many occasions, was spotted in Paris with a baby. Article from the tabloids on the internet followed with speculation, wondering if it's my baby, if it's my baby with him or it's another guy's baby and if he knows about it or not since he was in Paris for a concert at the beginning of the week at the same time I was there for a book signing event.