All Grown Up: The Story of Jacob and Renesmee Part I

Rules, Boundaries, and Limitations

Seth

I'd thought that I was falling in love with Nessie. I just couldn't stop thinking about her. I was scared and miserable. Of course, I knew that could never be. When they'd told everyone she was pregnant again, I felt even more awful. Being in love with your pack brothers pregnant wife seemed so much worse.

I wasn't sure who I could even talk to about it. Normally I could go to Jake with anything. My sister was out, she probably would have lectured me about how mad Mom would be. I couldn't go to my mom about such personal stuff, and it was times like this I really missed my dad.

Even though he wasn't our leader anymore, I went to talk to Sam. He was still somebody I could trust, and respect. I didn't want to pester him with my problems when his own wife was just a few weeks away from giving birth. But we managed to find an afternoon to talk when Emily was taking a nap with Dove in their bed.

"She's a champion napper," Sam said affectionately of Emily. "She'll probably sleep longer than Dove today."

I told him how I'd been feeling. How I'd never found Nessie so beautiful before, it was impossible to get her out of my head. I couldn't even go for a run, because who knew who else would be there? We can feel each other phase in and out, but sometimes when somebody pops in, they catch the end of a thought you had hoped to keep private. I was afraid that Jake would literally kill me. That was the only thing keeping me away from Nessie, my sense of self-preservation.

Sam listened, and when I was done he said, "Wow, you really don't see it do you?"

"See what?" I asked.

"Do you have any idea who you are acting like?"

"Um, no?"

"Jacob. When Bella was pregnant," he said.

"Holy shit," I breathed. "I'm gonna..." Sam just nodded. "What should I do?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, man. As far as I know, you're the only person who's ever known ahead of time. And I don't think it's something you can prepare for. I guess all you can do is wait."

"What does it feel like?" I wondered.

Sam smiled and looked kind of far away, even as he was still looking at me. "What, that moment, or the whole deal?"

"Both?"

He thought about it for a minute. "It's so hard to put into words. It's gonna be the best moment of your life though, I can tell you that much. Everything will make sense all of the sudden. People want to know the meaning of life and all of that, well you'll be able to see yours, right in front of you. You and Quil are kind of in the same boat with this waiting thing. He might be more of a help to you, now that I think about it."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Then, once you are together, it's not like being with any of the girls you've dated before. It's more intense. None of those girls matter anymore, you realize they never really have." I'd dated before, but nothing too serious. It was too hard to have total honesty when you are living with such a big secret. There were rules about who could be in on it, specific rules. A few movies and a couple of Italian dinners do not entitle somebody access to our world. It was just easier to be single.

"It's like comparing eating pine cones to filet mignon," he said.

"I've actually eaten a pine cone before. Leah dared me when we were little. She either dared me or just plain made me. I can't remember," I laughed at the memory.

Sam laughed. "I wish I could say I was surprised by that. Oh yeah, here's something to think about, do you know anybody who has imprinted who's lasted working somewhere full time?"