Ring of Fire (Completed) Book 1 Vanelzing Series

Alexis Journal Entry 70

Sleep doesn't come to me. I tried my best. I really tried. I helped Emily clean up then I went upstairs to get Angel ready for bed. No one really says anything. I guess no one really knows what to say and I can understand. There were no words that could ease the pain in my chest or the emptiness that was creeping inside. No matter what anyone said or did, Shawn was gone. Nothing could change that.

After Angel was settled in for the night, I went upstairs to Shawn's room. I sat down on his bed and looked around. Clothes on the floor that would never be worn by him again. His notebook that would never go back to school or be written in by him again. His change and wallet on his dresser. The black pocket knife that he always carried with him in the small change bowl that I bought him when I went shopping with Chris. 

I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away. I kicked off my shoes and picked up one of his shirts off the floor. I pulled it close to me and laid down on the bed. His scent surrounding me. I just wanted to sleep. To close my eyes and hopefully wake up from this nightmare. It has to be. This has to a dream. If I just close my eyes I will wake up. 

During the night, about 1:30 in the morning, I jolted awake. I stretched out my arm to wake up Shawn but all I felt were cold sheets. I pulled my knees to my chest. 

"Lexi," a tired voice called from the floor. I wiped my eyes and leaned over to the bed to see Chris. Apparently he had come in during the night and laid in the floor. He had made a small pallet bed. He sat up and yawned. "You okay?" 

I didn't say anything. I was trying to stop myself from crying. Chris got up onto of the bed. He threw the other blanket over me and laid me back down on the pillow. 

"You don't have to pretend around me little bit. Just let it out," Chris said laying on the other pillow. 

That night I cried myself asleep.