together

fifteen

I woke up to the quiet sound of the door shutting- reminding me of how quiet of a sleeper I was.

There was an almost silent "shit" as someone stumbled through the darkness.

To help, I grabbed my phone, flipping the flashlight on, towards the floor.

"God, you're the best" the familiar Michael smiled, weaving his way around bags and shoes to one of the three empty beds in the room

Once I knew he was seated I turned my flashlight off, turning onto my side in the bed.

Just as I was almost asleep- the door swung open- hitting the wall so loudly every doctor woke up with a jump- my own heart falling to me feet.

"Doctor Moran, you're needed in the ER" a lady spoke from the door.

"How many fucking times have we asked those damn nurses to just fucking page us." A doctor I didn't know grumbled as he got up, slipping his shoes on.

"Sorry guys- I'll remind them".

He left the room quietly, making Ash turn a lamp on- everyone in the room holding the same tired expression.

"You okay?" He asked me quietly.

"Yea, I'm good Ash" Luke responded quietly- his back still turned towards us making me immediately start laughing lightly as Ashton shook his head in almost disappointment.

"Need anything?" He mouthed to me.

"I'm okay" I mouthed back, making him smile before flipping the lamp back off.

I heard everyone moving and shifting around as I did the same before finding a comfortable position.

I couldn't sleep again.

I tried so hard
I forced myself to count
To think about things that make me sleepy

I played on my phone for a few minutes before exhaling quietly, seeing that it was past four in the morning and I had been away since almost two thirty.

I got up quietly, leaving the room without a sound.

I went to the restroom before going back to my room, seeing Calum now completely under my covers sleeping comfortably as if it was his own bed- but I didn't mind.

I ended up showering to waste more time.

I slipped into Adidas joggers and a random t shirt I had in my bag, throwing socks on. I brushed my knotted hair out before throwing on deodorant, brushing my teeth and quietly leaving the restroom.

After seeing that Calum was still asleep, I grabbed my phone, deciding to take a walk around the hospital.

I went into the room I did my chemo treatment in, seeing a boy sitting right beside to door.

"Shit, you scared me" He immediately laughed, his hand going to his chest.

"Sorry" I laughed lightly, observing the room- seeing no one else in there.

"Why are you awake so early?" He asked.

"Couldn't sleep" I shrugged lightly.

"You?" I asked after.

"The nightmares" he spoke, pursing his lips before looking down to his hands.

I ended up sitting beside him as he spoke about the dream

"It's not like a normal nightmare- it's like sleep paralysis, but you can more" He spoke, shaking his head.

"But I don't see people at least- I see like animals, bugs and shit- some people see people standing over them, and that's scary as fuck" he almost shivered, making me nod slowly.

"What do you have?" I asked quietly.

"Stage four lung cancer" He spoke slowly.

"Oh- wow, that's- far" I spoke slowly.

"Steadily progressing." He spoke, much too bluntly.

"I lose my hair maybe next week- then I'll die a month later" he laughed.

"Don't say that" I quickly spoke.

He laughed, looking to me

"This is my second time fighting this battle- just in a different spot, I know what my body is and isn't ready for, and it's all of this chemo." He spoke, clearing his throat lightly.

"But I can't tell you're new at this, what do you have?"