Loved // j.g

Lazy Sunday

i woke up because my body was really sweaty and uncomfortable ; I opened my eyes to expect jack sleeping next to be but then it hit me.

Jack is gone.

I broke up with him.

I lost him.

I felt a warm liquid slit down my cheek and I noticed a stream of tears coming down my cheeks.

I cry just at the thought of losing jack what am I suppose to do without him?

He's probably more hurt than I am. He looks like a really strong guy who doesn't show any feelings and that's how he was before until I came along .

I got to know more about his personality at school. Everyone told me I must be lucky because gilinsky never falls for anyone that easily and never takes a relationship this serious.

The first day he saw me, he stopped talking to any girl that was even temporary in his life.

He changed for me.

The hot guy with the attitude changed to the guy who can make a girl feel so beautiful , so wanted , so loved.

Why didn't I realize I was using him in a way this whole time? Why didn't I break up with jake?

how can I just make the person I love the most hate me and regret everything we ever had.

This was too much for me to handle.

I got out of my bed took out a pair of high waisted shorts and a plain,simple white t-shirt.

I checked my phone and opened my text messages hoping to see a text from jack .

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jake baby💘(3)

ash 😛😛 (5)

sammy🙈(2)

mom😊(1)

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I opened my mom's text and it said to be ready at about 6pm because we are suppose to go for a family dinner. I wasn't gonna bother telling my mom about jack rightnow because I don't even know what to think.

I didn't even bother opening up the rest of the texts because I know what they would say... sammy and ash want to know if I'm fine or if me and jack are okay but I'm not ready to explain.

Jake.

He probably wants to know why I didn't text him back. I know the reason why jack got super mad last night was because of jake's contact name. Maybe if I actually did forget jake I would've changed it a long time ago?

I'm so confused.

I look at the time it's about 2pm. I actually slept for a long time but my eyes were puffy and read from crying and my head was hurting from all this thinking. I wonder what jack is doing rightnow. I wonder if he got his hand checked up and took care of it. Jack was always there to make me feel better and now that jack needs me the most I'm not there for him. I felt terrible.

I stripped out of my clothes and jumped in the shower remembering the last time I was in there with jack and a little smile spread across my face ; god I love that boy so much I can't lose him.

I got out of shower and decided to blow dry my hair and keep it natural because jack liked it that way.

I applied some concealer to my eye bags and a few coats of mascara to my eyelashes , I ended up with applying a nude color lipstick.

I stepped back to look myself in the mirror.

I was starting to gain weight I didn't even realize. It's not that I eat too much it's just that I didn't get the time to actually work out since jack happened. He liked me just the way I was.

I put on a fresh pair of socks took my phone and wallet and went downstairs.

I saw blake sitting on the couch watching some soccer match .

"good morning sis how you feeling now" he asked .

"I'm fine now,sorry you had to see me like that last night" I said weakly and I was lying about the first part but the second part was true.

I open the fridge and grab a few raspberries from the container and put them in a bowl and poured myself a glass of water.

it was now about 3pm so I decided to say goodbye to blake and walk over to jack's house. I saw his car on the driveway which means he's probably home.

I didn't know how to face him.

My stomach was getting butterflies and my head was spinning , spending one night knowing jack is angry with me made my heart hurt I needed to fix this I need jack back in my life.

I walked up to the front door.

I knocked on the door and I didn't even realize how cold my hands were at this point I was really scared,nervous and afraid of what would happen.

I heard the door fling open and there he was standing there .

I missed his beautiful face , his existence , him.

He was wearing just a pair of black sweatpants hanging low from his waist and I looked up to meet his eyes.

They were red. Full of hatred. Full of pain. Full of disappointed. Everything but happiness and love and the lust he used to have for me.

His face was really serious and he didn't even move a muscle. Usually when I'd come over he'd take his time to check me out , up and down and today he was looking at everything around me but me.

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ignore if you see any typos ok