Loved // j.g

Nothing To Lose

We just sat there quietly, as I cried without any sound and my face buried in the crook of Jack's neck as he rubbed my back slowly, up and down .
"shush babygirl I'm here at least now" Jack whispered kissing the top of my head.
I looked up and readjusted myself looking at his face.

"no I don't want you here--" I begin Jack didn't even finish .

"What the fuck?" He asked raising his eyebrow.

"let me finish" i quickly spoke over him.

"no I don't want you here only now, I want you here forever, I want you here all the time" I said trying to keep in my sobs.

Jack touched my face with his hands, cupping it lightly.

"I'm leaving in a few weeks, I get to finish off the semester early and since we'll be done highschool , my dad wants me to stop sitting around and help me with his business in cali, im given no options hanna" Jack explained and I felt like someone just shoot me when Jack mentioned when he's leaving.

In a few weeks.

I only have a few weeks left with Jack.
I will never see Jack again after these few weeks.

I didn't even reply to him I just started playing with my nails and looking down at my hands.

I could feel Jack looking at me but i had nothing to say or did I?

"please talk to me" Jack begged grabbing my hands but I was too weak to look at him.

"babygirl look at me please" he said again but I just didn't want to look up because my eyes were already watery and I didn't want to cry again.

"how long will you be gone?" I managed to choke out .

"at least 2 months?" Jack said quietly.

"WHA--WHAT?" I yelled .

"HOW WILL I GO 2 MONTHS WITHOUT YOU , FUCK YOU" I yelled but my voice broke at the end and my screams ended up sounding like cries.

"ITS NOT LIKE I WANT TO FUCKIN LEAVE" Jack yelled causing me to flinch.

I quickly got off of him and sat at the corner of the bed.

I hated when Jack was angry , you can't predict what he would do next.

"WHY DID YOU EVER COME IN MY LIFE JACK?" I yelled angrily.

"WHY DONT YOU ANSWER THAT?" Jack yelled back as loud as me.

"I WISH I NEVER MET YOU FFS" I shouted.

"you know what? Fuck you. I wish I never met YOU , it would've been so easy to leave rightnow and all of this wouldn't be happening . I never fuckin get attached to anyone but then you fuckin came along , you fuckin ruined my life" Jack said angrily as i processed his words in, I had no tears left in my eyes anymore.

Numb.

Bare pain .

"you fuckin ruined my life"

I ruined Jack's life.

"You fucked me up. I don't know why I told you everything about me. All you do is take your anger out on me and use me to get over the fact that your parents don't give a shit about you. You are fuckin lonely. You act like you're so chill and nothing effects you when everything effects you. You have no one by your side because you always push everyone out you fuck---" I spilled out getting up from the bed but Jack cut me off.

"guess what? It's always me listening to your bullshit about your past , I always thought you didn't deserve any of the shit that happened to you but guess what you're just an emotional fuck who has no one to share shit with so you put it all on me to make you feel good about yourself" Jack spat out angrily.

"Fuck you. I hope you goto cali as soon as possible and never fuckin come back. Go do whatever the fuck I don't care. I just regret wasting my time on you" I spit out.

"Ha, I'm tired of dealing with your shit anyway, get the fuck out of my house" Jack yelled as I saw his face turn red and a few veins in his neck pop out.

"Jack are you ser--" I started but he cut me off.

"GET OUT" he yelled and I flinched at how loudly he was yelling and ran out of his room , down the stairs and straight out.

I didn't go home.

I just ran.

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oooooooh shiiiiiit