Loved // j.g

I Miss The Old Us

Hanna's POV
*3 weeks later*
.
.
.
It's been 3 weeks since me and Jack "broke up" im done crying , done missing Jack, there's no point because I can't get all that back.
I see Jack everyday.
We talk.
We laugh.
The most i get from Jack now is a fuckin hug , a causal friend hug.
It's so hard for me to forget all that we had.
Jack always acts normal like we didn't have anything special.
Once again I caused all of this for myself.
Me and Jack still chill at school, sometimes we even go out to eat or go to watch a movie but just like best friends , nothing more.
Sam apologized to me once and I told him it's not his fault. It was meant to happen this way I can't go back and change it.
I guess everyone is happy with their life.
Blake and Nicole are still a thing they don't act like a couple but I know lowkey they're still fucking.
Ashley and Sammy had a break up and I know its not because of me , the night I kissed sam, before going to his house I remember him asking me that he needs advice with relationships which means ashley and sammy already had their ups and downs.
I noticed how Jasmine is in this school too; she's hanging out with Jack sometimes like I see her leaving his house but he's not my boyfriend anymore so I shouldn't care right?
Alex doesn't really live that close to where I live but he comes to visit me once in a while and I like that.
Jake and Rachel still have a thing going on and I'm happy for them and finally more happy to see Jake move on.
If I start of think about it , I'm such a fuckin slut, Jake ; alex , Jack , sam .... Like I need to chill the fuck out.
But all of them are in my past and im over many things.
I act normal but it's really hard for me to act like Jack's bestfriend when I have really strong feelings for him.
I don't want to be his friend. I want to be way more than that. It's true if you're in a relationship you have to stay committed I guess I'm not really good at that.
Jack always comes to class high, I see his eyes they're bloodshot it's like he's trying to forget something but I know that something he's trying to forget is me. But we see each other daily so I don't think getting stoned is gonna help.
I don't understand if Jack still loves me why cant we just go back to normal?
Currently I was sitting in last period with my headphones in, Jack was sitting infront of me talking to some girl next to him and laughing he was faced sidewards looking at the girl and I'm pretty sure he could see me looking at him from the corner of my eye so I didn't stare at him much even though it was hard to resist.
I was just drawing random doodles on the notebook infront of me totally zoned out when I heard my business teacher call out my name.
"Miss Steven" he said .
"Is my lesson that boring , you are listening to music?" He said raising his eyebrow and I heard a couple giggles from around the room and a couple coughs.
"yes..uhh I mean no , I'm sorry" I stuttered, I knew my whole face was probably red as a tomato now everyone was laughing at me including Jack.
Yes I feel so much better now.
I yanked my headphones off, pausing my song, it was photograph by Ed Sheeran , that song gives me the chills honestly.
I thought the teacher was done making a fool out of me when he questioned me again.
"Hanna explain the difference between an expense and drawings, I was just talking about that." He said.
Oh fuck i had no clue what he was talking about , I was too distracted by Jack and his stupid smile and oh plus I was listening to music.
"uhh.. well expenses are the money umm.. I don't know like you spend the money..." I started and I had no clue where I was going with this.
I was interrupted when Jack put his hand up high "Ohhh ms spears I really wanna answer this question I can't stay quiet no more sorry" Jack said excitedly.
"sure ms gilinsky" the teacher said.
"so basically expenses are the money you spend.. Exactly what hanna said , I'll finish off for her, it's the money you spend on your business" Jack said and right when he finished my phone went off I didn't even have to open it Jack's name appeared across my screen and the text was the answer to the teachers questions.
My heart started beating really fast, Jack texted me the answer because he knows I hate talking in front of a crowd of people and messing up , not knowing what to say.
Oh my god.
I quickly scanned the answer.
"& now hanna can answer the rest". Jack said and turned back to look at me and gave me a secure smile the "I got you" smile and my heart literally melted away.
"so drawings are the money you take out for personal use" I explained without stuttering or anything and the teacher smiled and I knew I aced this.
It was all because of Jack, oh my god his one smile helped me put myself together, what am I suppose to do without him?
I need to thank Jack for this, maybe for him this was a small thing but for me it's a big deal.
Soon the bell rang and everyone started gathering up their stuff and leaving , Jack was talking to some random guy as I walked up to him.
"hey sorry Ben, can I borrow Jack for a minute?" I asked nicely.
"sure hanna" Ben said and smiled.
"that would be 50 bucks per 5 minutes to borrow me" Jack joked and we all just laughed and soon Ben left and me and Jack started walking out the class side to side and his shoulder brushed against mine and I couldn't stop the tingly body inside me.
I missed him .
"so, what is it?" Jack asked casually looking at me as we walked through the somewhat crowded hallways where we always used to walk hand in hand.
"I wanted to say thank you" i said.
"for what" he asked like he had no clue what I was talking about.
"Jack .. You know in class for helping me" i said.
"Oh no, it's chill I had to help you" he said smiling at me.
I'm not sure what he meant by that but I just nodded my head and smiled back.
"You should take me to go eat , that could be your way of saying thanks" Jack said smirking at me as he opened the door for me that led outside.
"sounds fair enough" i said.
"Let's go in my jeep" Jack said excitingly and I looked away for a second and a smile appeared across my face, im pretty sure I was blushing.
It's because I got Jack the jeep on his birthday, when we had it for the first time , it was so special I can't help but smile.
"Am I making someone blush" Jack asked smirkingly as we walked towards his jeep.
"what? no" i said as casually as possible.
Jack chuckled crinkling his eyes as usual and murmured something under his breath I don't know what.
We got in the jeep and opened the door for me , being the gentlemen he is and we put on our seat belts.
"where should I take you even though you're the one driving" I asked.
"Um, I want froyo and then we can go smoke near that pond that I showed no one but you the other day back then" he said looking at me as if he was waiting for me to react.
Asshole.
Always making me miss him and the stupid shit we did together, places we went.
It took me a while to process his words. He wants to get high with me I don't have a problem with getting high I just don't think we'll end up doing the right thing.
"no how about we skip the smoking part and get pizza instead and eat it by the pond listening to music" I suggested.
"You're so boring hanna" he commented.
"you didn't used to find me boring" I muttered under my breath.
"excuse me what was that?" Jack questioned raising his eyebrow and smiling lightly.
"nothing let's goto the mall and get froyo" i said and looked away.
It was quiet in the car but comfortable silence, the windows were rolled down and the heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez was playing through the speakers. I was actually enjoying the song until Jack changed it and new flame by Chris Brown started playing.
"NO PUT THAT BACK ON" i argued and placed my hand on the radio , "not so easy ba-- I mean hanna" Jack said and placed his hand on my hand and it felt so good, I missed his touch against my skin but i quickly snatched my hand away and placed it by my side and I think Jack noticed because the smile from his face faded and he just looked at me.
"What?" I asked raising my eyebrow.
"you ... you flinched away from my touch like you hated it or something, that was sad to witness" Jack said with hurt in his eyes.