Be My First - A Jack Gilinsky Fanfiction

Chapter 47 - Gone

     I sat on the floor for about 3 minutes until I heard a knock at the door. I quickly stood up and grabbed the sunglasses that were hanging on the collar of my shirt and put them on.

    "Paige, the driver's about 3 minutes away... You okay?" I heard Jack J's voice. I opened the door and looked behind him. Nobody was around.

    I quietly cried.

    "What's wrong..? Are you alright?"

     "I don't want to ruin anything for you guys. I'll be fine." Tears continuously streamed down my face and I couldn't control it. I was still shaking. 

     "Is there something you want to tell me? I won't tell anyone."

    "Ava's gone." I sobbed.

    "She's- W- What? What do you mean?" He looked concerned.

    "A, drunk driver.. he, hit her. I don't know, that's what my mom just told me on the phone." I struggled to say.

    "Oh my god." He hugged me.

    He looked at me with sad eyes. He was sad as well, I could see it.

    "Do you want to tell Jack?" He questioned, running his fingers through his hair.

    "I'll tell him later today, but right now I just don't want to cry. I want to zone out everything." I adjusted my large sunglasses and wiped a hot tear off the side of my cheek.

    "You don't have to hide this from Jack. He'll understand. You're not going to hurt anyone.." He put his hand on my shoulder.

     "I don't want them to see me crying." I said.

     "I can't even see that you're crying with those glasses on. You still look gorgeous." He said.

    For some reason, in this moment, knowing that Ava is gone, Jack J just made me smile. I swallowed hard and tried to hide everything away.

    "You want to go out there?" He said.

     "Yeah."

     "You're...Alright?"

     "Just doesn't feel real."

      He looked down at my red knuckles. 2 had dried blood on them.

      "...Paige." He said.

     "I was mad. I don't know." I went to go wash them off. Jack stood in the doorway.

     "Okay, let's go." I said. My knuckles were still red, but you couldn't see blood anymore. I put them in my pocket, which I never do. I probably looked weird.

     Jack J held me until we got into Jack, Sammy, and Nate's sight.

     "Hey what took so long?" Jack asked.

     "The door was stuck!" Jack J blurted.

      "...Yeah I couldn't get it open." I added, trying not to sound shaky.

     "You okay?" Jack said.

      "Yeah! I'm fine." I said, uncomfortable with being so cheery after what just happened.

      The driver pulled up. It was more of a van than a car.

      "FINALLY" Sammy said.

     Jack J grabbed my bags before anybody else could, and put them in the back. I suddenly wanted to hug him forever.

     "Yo Jack, I could've got those for her." Jack said, putting his suitcases into the back.

    "Nah it's fine, just wanted to be nice." He said walking past me. He patted my back.

     "Thank you." I said sympathetically.

     They all finished loading up their stuff and we got into the vehicle. Jack told the driver where to go.

     Sammy and Nate were talking about something and kept laughing. Jack and Jack were talking too. I kept quiet.

     "Paige are you sure you're doing okay?" Jack asked me.

    "Yeah! Totally fine. Just super tired."

    Jack J looked at me. Concerned.

    I still had my sunglasses on even though it wasn't bright in the van.

     "Those glasses are swaggin" Nate said, pointing to me.

     I giggled. "Thanks." I got stomach sick from laughing. I couldn't do it.

    "You know if you wanted to sleep you can, we have like 40 minutes before we get there." The driver said through the mirror.

     "Oh, I'll be fine! I'm too excited to sleep." I said to her.

    "Alright." She said with a smile.

     I got that sick feeling in my stomach again. Ava.

     I started rapidly breathing, and my chest felt like an anchor was on top of it. I forced myself to think of anything other than her.

    Wait..... Nash.

    Nash doesn't even know.