Be My First - A Jack Gilinsky Fanfiction

Chapter 63 - Time Heals All

    I walked over to the first row of benches, which was reserved for my mom, my dad, and me. Also Ava's family. I spotted Ava's mom wiping her eyes with a tissue. I had the most blank expression on my face. It was like I'd lost all of my tears. I went over to her and gave her a hug. She was sniffling and I could tell she'd been crying for a long time. I've always known her to be so happy. Never had I seen her cry.

   She looked at me.

   "Just get through today. Time heals all." She sat back down.

    Ava's dad stood up and gave me a hug.

   "Everything's going to be okay, kiddo."

   That's when I lost it.

    When me and Ava were 10 years old, we thought being at the skatepark with all the big kids was the cool thing to do. We both brought skateboards and tried doing the tricks that they were doing. The first time Ava attempted to skate down the ramp, she fell forward and cut her knees open. A parent at the park let me use their phone to call Ava's dad. He came within 10 minutes and drove us to the hospital. He looked back at Ava, who was crying and said: "Everything's going to be okay, kiddo."

    And it was.

    Everything was going to be okay.

    Friends from school entered and some greeted me and Ava's family with condolences. I knew almost everyone from her family.

   It was on the program for me to get up and say something. I knew this before I came, but I had no clue what I was going to say. I didn't even write anything down.

   The minister entered the room a few minutes later and started speaking. I couldn't hear. I didn't want to hear.

 

    I stared into space, thinking about our best memories.

 

    Ava's mom stood up and walked to the stand. I had to give her my undivided attention.

    "As you know, Ava was the silliest girl you'd ever meet. She'd do anything to get anyone to laugh and she always had this big grin on her face. That smile is something that will forever live in my memory. Even as a teenager you would think that she would lose the obnoxious laugh over the smallest things, but she definitely didn't. And that's one of the million reasons why I love her. Uh, being here is strange, because I always thought she'd be the one to bury me.. I never thought that- I'd be, uh," she began to cry.

    "I never thought I'd be burying my little girl."

    Tears arose to my eyes.

    She went on about the best memories of her and Ava. We all laughed and we all cried.

   Ava's dad had told me that he would rather not speak, because Amanda had spoken for him, and the pain was too much.

   When Amanda came and sat back down, I stood up and walked over to the stand. I gulped.

   "So, if you don't know me, which I think most of you do- I was- well, I am, Ava's best friend. I wouldn't even consider her my best friend, I'd consider her my sister."

    I began. I couldn't bring myself to look up at everybody's faces so I was staring at the ground.

   "Me and her have millions of memories and if I could stand here and tell you all of them, I would. One of our traditions was ice cream dates. We'd always go out for ice cream after an argument, or for celebration, or if we just felt like going. Realizing that I won't be doing that ever again hurts. A lot. I won't be able to make memories with her anymore, but she's always going to be in my heart. I'll never forget the times that she pushed me to do greater things, and motivated me to go after what I wanted. If it wasn't for her, I- I really don't know where I'd be. It's so surreal being here right now. This is something I'd never even dream of. They say that everything happens for a reason. I guess that's true, but right now, I don't see the reason." I finally looked up. Everyone's eyes were on me. I looked to the back. 10 boys. All looking at me. Sam. Jack. Jack J. Taylor. Shawn. Aaron. Nash. Carter. Cameron. Hayes. Matt.

   "One thing that I'll never forget is that right before she passed away, she was having the time of her life with me. And It's all thanks to those 10 boys in the back." I pointed.

   "You all made us a part of the family and happier than we've ever been. Thank you. I'm sure Ava is thanking you too."  

    Everyone smiled at me. I went back to my seat in complete anger. They didn't even tell me they were coming.

   About 15 minutes later, we all started getting in our cars to drive to the cemetery for burial. As I was walking out, Jack touched my shoulder. I turned around.

   "What do you want?" I folded my arms.

   "I wanted to be here for my friend, Paige. She meant something to me too."

    "You weren't invited."

    "Yes we were." He said.

    I looked across the room at all of the boys. Not of them had a smile.

    "By who?"

    "Your mom. Your dad. Ava's parents. They all knew that we were a great deal of her life before she passed away. We love her too."

    I thought for a moment.

    "Aren't you suppose to be on tour?"

    "It's a break day. And even if it wasn't, I'd still be here."

    "I don't want you anymore."

    "I didn't come here for you."

    "Just, tell me one thing, alright?" I questioned.

    "Okay."

    "Why were you talking to that girl? Am I not good enough? Do I not fit your standards?"

    "It was the dumbest fucking mistake of my life. She texted me night and day and I would ignore her every single time and she finally called me and I told her I didn't want to talk and then she kept on going and I just went along. I felt guilty as hell when I hung up. There's no way I could've cheated on you."

    "I don't believe you. Why'd you have a text from her saying "Thanks for the pic?" What was it?"

    "An old picture of her and me at Sammy's party. Cross my heart, swear on everyone's life. That's it."

    He looked tired.

    I walked out of the mortuary and towards my mom's car. I spotted Jack's Jeep, and all of the boys were standing around it.

  I walked over to them.

   "Thank you for coming." I hugged all of them and gave them a smile. "It really does mean a whole lot to have you guys here. We can talk after. I'll meet you guys there."

    They all responded and agreed.

    I walked over to our car and got in the back seat.

    "So, you didn't care to TELL me that you just invited all of them especially Jack?" I said. I didn't know who I was talking to, but I'm assuming both of them invited the boys.

   My mom looked back. "Paige, I know what happened. I know you're upset. But I'm not sure you realize how much this boy loves you."

   My dad started backing out of the parking lot.

   I rolled my eyes.

   "Listen. If I can forgive that godforsaken boy, you can too. I was really upset with him at first, but he told me things about you. He went on bout you and how much he loves you and how much being at Ava's, which is his friend too, funeral means to him. You don't know how much you mean to him."

   "When did you guys talk to him?!"

    "Last night. He came over really late after his plane landed and asked for permission. You were sleeping."

   I sighed.