I headed down to the local park. I need some time alone. It was fucking freezing and all I wore was black skinnies, thongs and my ‘om nom nom’ horeur shirt. Pfft. Horeur. Might stop that shit now since it’s Shaun fuck face’s clothing line. I sat on the swing and swayed backwards and forwards softly.
“How un-fucking-predictable…” I muttered to myself.
For the record, I couldn’t give two shits if they had sex or not. Their relationship, whatever. But the fact that Shaun took her to my room and done shit in my bed? For fuck sakes, he’s treating things like a five year old. If he really hates me this much, couldn’t he just come over and punch me in the face… or the arm, just don’t mess the hair and attack the piercings. I shook my head and scratched my arm until it went all red and sore. I wasn’t much of a self harmer though I didn’t have anything sharp with me, but let me explain just what happened after I told her I loved her, yeah?
After we pulled apart for the last time, I could feel this whole thing was fucking right. We loved each other and nothing was going to change that.
“So…” I said to her after a while.
“What?” she asked with a smile.
“You wanna be with me?” I played with my lip piercing, feeling kinda nervous.
“I really want to.” She replied.
“Good.”
“You’re amazing, protective, awesome, funny… and perfect. I’m glad we’ve known each other since forever because I really couldn’t see myself with anyone else.”
“Riiiight.” I mumbled to myself, snickering.
“Jay.” I heard someone call out to me.
“What the fuck do you want?”
Kell walked out from the shadows and I could see her pale face from the street lights.
“Remember what happened here last year? On my 17th?” she walked over to the empty swing beside me.
“It’s kinda hard to fucking forget.”
“I’ve never forgotten it. I never will. I do still love you, you know.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’m not bullshitting about anything, Shaun.”
“Don’t call me Shaun.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
I rolled my eyes.
“You sleep with that asshole IN MY BED and you come over and tell me you still love me after telling Diviney the same shit! Fuck off Kell, seriously!”
“Well, what am I supposed to do?”
“Oh gee, I don’t know.” I made a sarcastic voice. “Grow up, stop using me to satisfy your own fucking personal needs and make up your mind!”
I stood up and headed back to my stupid house. The last place I wanted to be but it was better than being here… with the one I loved… with these horrible memories. It was a bit too much.
