I woke up and left at the same time as Maddie, though I headed in the opposite direction. I went to Shaun’s house since Andy texted me this morning letting me know that he dropped him home. I took my absolute time, thinking about what I could tell Shaun, figuring out all this bullshit that is wrecking my life in a matter of 10-ish hours. By the time I reached the Diviney house, it was around 10. I took two deep breaths and rang the door bell. After a minute or two, the door opened and Shaun’s mum stood there.
“Good morning, Kell. Come in, come in.” She said to me, opening the door wide. I walked in and she walked out. “Well, I’m out to do some shopping. Shaun’s in his room. I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”
“Yeah. Good seeing you, Ms Diviney.” I said back to her as she closed the door behind her with a massive smile.
Shaun’s mum was super nice. She let him do absolutely anything and everything that he wanted to do; concerts, gigs, clubbing, staying out until late… whatever. Though she was all 50/50 about him being in a band and shit like that right at the beginning but she eventually warmed up to the idea faster than most parents would with their own children’s wishes. Lucky bastard from the start with really.
I walked up the stairs and went up the walkway. I knocked on Shaun’s door and then carefully creaked it open.
“Hey, handsome.” I said to him.
He was lying on his bed reading some booklet. He dropped it beside him and smiled.
“Hey, beautiful.” He said back to me.
He sat up and came over to me. He wound his arms around me in a hug and I couldn’t help but hug him back. He was still with me after all.
“Last night was amazing.” He began to say after we pulled apart. “Despite having that little interruption though.”
“Why didn’t you go to the spare room like I wanted?” I spat out.
“What?”
“Remember when I asked you that we should go to the spare room because I didn’t want to do that in Jump’s room? Why didn’t you agree?”
My eyebrows creased together as I spoke. Shaun sighed and shook his head. Clearly he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Come on, Kell-”
“No, Shaun. Don’t ‘come on’ me. Answer the question. Please.”
I didn’t want to sound like I was pleading or anything but it probably came out somewhat like that.
“You really wanna know?” he walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge. I did the same. Standing didn’t sound like a very good option to me at this moment.
“I know that Jennings still likes you. I’m not dumb. I can see that you like him too.”
“Shaun, it wasn’t like that.” I said. He shook his head.
“I was jealous. I didn’t want you to dump me or cheat on me or any other shit with him. I didn’t wanna leave his room because I wanted to pay him back for having those times alone with you that I never really got a chance to.” I shook my head. I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t think I could hack it. After a long silence, Shaun spoke up again. “Please, say something.”
“Shaun, you should’ve known what would happen to me and Jumpnow. He’s not even talking to me anymore! He won’t even look at me without rolling his eyes. He won’t cross my path without finding a way in making me feel guilty and upset.” my voice began to go all croaky, like some kinda sign that’s screaming ‘you’re going to cry!’ to the world. I turned and took two steps away from Shaun.
“I didn’t think it’ll be this bad.” he stepped after me and planted his hand on my shoulder.
“Of course!” I spun around and a few wet lines were down my face. “You never think! The only time you want to think is for your own benefit! You don’t understand how much this is ruining my friendship with Jumpnow! You have no fucking idea!”
“Kell, please. I’m so sorry.” He held my arms in his hands and I dropped my head. “Please, just calm down for a second.”
Shaun pulled me into a soothing hug, hushing me and swaying our bodies from side to side ever so softly. My head was planted on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. It was so even. So controlled. Concentrating on that calmed me down a little.
“Kell, I need to know that if you love him more than me, tell me now so I can let you go.” He looked at me. He seemed pretty upset. I looked up at him, sniffling.
“No.” I said to him, wiping my newly fallen tear. “I love you, Shaun. I do love Jay, I’m not gonna lie, but I’m with you. Not him. Okay.” I took his hands and squeezed them tight.
“Alright.” He said, wiping my face before he leaned in to kiss me.
After we pulled apart, I remembered what Bradie told me before he dropped me at Vanessa’s. I used this to try and change the subject.
“So what’s this rad news you wanted to tell me? Bradie mentioned it but he never said a word.”
I tried hard to feel somewhat excited for Shaun, pretending that the big mess was behind us.
“Alright. I couldn’t find you last night but if you were at the party, our manager was there to give us our graduation present.”
“Really?” I asked him, forcing a smile. This somehow slightly changed my shitty mood. “What was it?”
He took a deep breath before answering.
“Well, we’re going on tour for a month and a bit.”
As soon as he told me this, my face fell.
“Oh. When are you leaving?” I asked him.
“Tomorrow morning.” He saw my face. I started to get all teary again. This really isn’t my day. “Kell, don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. It’s just really short notice. I swear, if he let us choose a date, it would be for next year.” He rubbed my shoulder.
“But… but I thought you said that it was next year. Not tomorrow. You told me this a few months ago!”
I really didn’t want him to go. We just figured things out a minute ago. I can feel that our relationship was bringing us a tiny bit closer because of this little hiccup. Him going on tour was gonna ruin everything.
“That’s what we agreed on but it was a surprise. We can’t change it now. I’m sorry. But I would if we could.”
“No, don’t worry.” I wiped a tear. “I’ll come visit you sometime during the tour then. Is that okay?” I looked down. I didn’t want him to see my face.
“That’s perfect.” He said to me, taking his hand to my chin making my face see his. He looked into my eyes. “No matter what happens, I love you.”
I smiled. I can tell that he really means it.
“If you love me so much, can you do me a little favour?”
“Anything.” he whispered and he made a half smile back.
