Spiderman/Peter Parker & Avengers Oneshots (Hiatus)

Worthless (TW)

Depression isn't something that you can just turn on and off like a switch. There are people who still don't understand it.

"Oi author, you basing this off the recent things that happened and caused you to disappear?"

Yeah... I'm also going to use this to help other people understand people like me.

Peter is aro-ace. He knows it. A lot of people don't validate aro-ace queers. It can hurt hearing comments like,

“I didn't love anyone when I was 7, does that mean I was aro-ace?”

It can get frustrating. Some identify themselves from an early age like Peter and those are the people who constantly get remarked on.

As a release, he'd constantly use fatalistic humor. Over and over again.

Than this happened.

"Peter, can you stop being depressed."

Peter almost snapped back. But he decided, why not stay silent. You don't want him to talk so he won't.

It wasn't the best. He ended up laying down on his bed and asking himself too many questions.

The class group chat also told him not to so he switched to the "happy Pete" persona and asked them if they're day was going great.

They didn't accept that as well so he completely disappeared from the chat.

He questioned himself, 'Am I that worthless that even the persona they asked for can't be accepted?'

He didn't cut or do anything. It would be too obvious.

Then, Ned attacked him in the class group chat and told him that he should just stop faking this sadness.

It hurt. It felt worse than all the stab and bullet wounds he had combined.

MJ being the nice person asked Ned privately why he did that, then sent the screenshot.

Ned, don't you like Peter?

I don't.

Why?

Coz he's always talking about death and how he's so depressed and how he life sucks so much but his depression is false and his life is wayyyyyyyy better than some people.

If his life is so much better why would he want to be depressed?

For attention.

?

He wants people to pity him and ask if he's okay.

Why?
This doesn't get ppl attention.

You ask him.
He's the one who wants it. You may not see it but I see it.
Wtv

And Peter almost cried right then and there.

3 weeks ago, he had a call with him crying because Aunt May admitted that she was suicidal to him and he was scared. Did Ned think that was fake?

2 weeks ago, he supported Ned as Ned ranted about how stressful exams were.

1 week ago, he bought Ned a gift.

It stung. But he decided to move on. If Ned couldn't accept him, then screw Ned.

Ned may know his secret about Aunt May but that didn't matter. Peter would find new people. He won't be the same but at least it would work.

Lucky him, it was school break for a week so he didn't have to see Ned.

A new transfer student, Emillé texted him and taught him a way to get over it. She supported him but as a friend. She's lesbian.

Tomorrow, he's seeing Ned in school again and he's terrified.

He felt worthless. He can't do much for Queens. He can't even stand up for himself.

He's anorexic and to him, ugly. He doesn't cut cause someone would notice so he scratches. Scratches at every bit of himself that's not perfect. He even stained his school worksheet.

Oh yeah, he's excuse was that he had developed eczema. In reality he was just loving the pain of the open wounds and the blood that would get everywhere. His healing factor didn't work well from him not eating enough.

He doesn't know what will happen but he knows his life won't ever be the same. The "happy Pete ™" persona came out more often as way to seem fine.

(I'm really sorry, the story doesn't flow well, I can't really think straight. Those who follow me... Sorry for the mess that's my life. I've tried.)