Started With A Dare

thirty six

Tzuyu's POV

I raised my pointer finger up and it still had that scar, it was slim, but it seemed deep. It was very red but it wasn't bleeding anymore... I kept on staring at it, as if my world surrounded on a small wound like that. As if no one else was on earth.

I felt a hand pat my hair. I didn't care, I just kept staring at it. I had my legs folded up and I was just staring at my finger. Had I not have realized that Sana unnie was there beside me... I would've kept staring at it until they were all gone.

SN: Dongsaeng! What's that?

I was silent, I couldn't bring myself to talk. Just like how I had felt after sunbaenim had called me all those mean stuff, it certainly did not feel good at all.

SN: Oh? You have a scar! Eh-where did you get that?

I gulped. Only Mina unnie knew about me cutting myself, she had caught me. She was the one who consoled me and told me to calm down. I still haven't have told her the reason, I appreciate that she's not nosy and that she knows where boundaries stand... I also asked her to keep it a secret.

SN: Gosh, it looks recent... But it's not bleeding.

'What's bleeding?'.

We both looked up and it was Jeon Jungkook.

SN: Ah, it's a scar... It's not bleeding anymore...

JK: Are you okay?

I worriedly blinked my eyes slowly and suddenly breathed deeply, then nodded. I stood up and went to the van, unnie went after me.

In the van, I sat next to mina unnie in the seat that was just for two.

TY: Unnie, did I really cause a huge commotion?

MN: Ani, aniyo... We were just a bit worried, you know?

TY: Ah... Yes, yes... Kamsahamnida...

MN: Don't mind it... But... You still haven't told me the reason why...

I gulped and my stomach felt really queasy. If I tell it to unnie, what fi she reports it... I might ruin someone's life... I've never told on anyone in the principal's office at school, things usually move one fast. But when you're older, the world feels slower and more real. The realest it can get.

MN: Ah, it's okay if you don't wanna talk about. But you can tell me anytime you feel more comfortable now!

TY: Ah, ahahaha... Okay unnie...

I gave out a nervous laugh then sighed. Then I got to thinking again, how was I not scared of Jungkook. How was I okay with him approaching me at first? Is he being kind to me as a girl or as a hoobae? Hmmm...

Maybe it was because I knew that fans were shipping me with him and well... He looked kind. But then again, Chan Wo looked kind at first too so...

No way Jungkook is like that, I feel more comfortable with him... I really feel different when I'm with him, Im-I'm no one special... But he seemed special to me, Im still not sure if I can trust him.

I just have that little feeling of true reassurance inside my heart when I think of him. And it's not just my heart, it's my mind too. I think he really is a good guy, he's been good to me... But I'll always have that little piece of doubt in everyone now...

How did I even toughen up in the first place, when I'm bottling up all of my feelings...

Should I really open up to someone about it?

I know that PDnim is sensitive and absolutely despises bullying... He even kicked out one of the past trainees before, since he was exposed to have bullied in the past.

Is whatever Chan Wo did to me, is somewhat a form of bullying?

Or is it not? He did say some mean things but...

I also slapped him...

Wait,

Why am I making his side more favourable?

He did something wrong to me...

He should've apologised to me,

It was his mistake...

It was his mistake,

Now I am more cautious and scared around boys

It was his mistake,

Now I've left a very mean impression on the other groups

It was his mistake,

That I kinda want to die now...

But I kinda feel like I also had a mistake...

I shouldn't have made friends with him

I shouldn't have been nice to him

I shouldn't have stayed by myself in the building while my unnies went to that cafe

I should've never had agreed to spare him some minutes to talk to me

I should've had ran away before I had rejected him

I probably should have never agreed to be in JYP

I shouldn't have been an idol

Damn, Chan Wo is making me regret all my life decisions and makes me feel so guilty about everything... I feel really bad about myself.

Do I really have to regret my life decisions?

Can I really entrust one of the unnie's about this?

Why am I like this?

(A/N: hey, I'm sorry if this chapter is short... Also, sorry for the delay, I couldn't update because our dang Internet has given up on me... I am also questioning if wattpad has robots since I'm getting so many kind and inspirational comments from you guys... Are your really humans? Lol, maybe all of u are robots... Anyways, if ur not a robot... Comment : 🤖 : ahaha... Lol, anyways... Thanks! 💕)