Love Triangle: Kakashi vs. Genma

31 | Well, That's Not Good

Asuma stayed pissed at Kakashi over the whole ordeal for a while. In fact, physical proof sat on Kakashi's purpled cheek for two weeks (after Asuma had calmed [Y/N] and taken her home from the bar that night, he sought out Kakashi just to give him said bruise). Of course, afterward, he felt bad for hitting him and tried his hardest to understand why Kakashi did what he did. He'd even talked to Kurenai about it. She was confused that he would make such progress and then just take it all back so quickly too. They both knew that Kakashi had feelings for [Y/N] and they had assumed that they were pretty strong feelings, given the way he acted or talked when she was around. Even so, he wasn't the kind of guy that would get her hopes up like that and just tear it all apart later.

"I just don't understand. I told him time and time again that if he wanted her, then fine, but not to toy with her, and that's exactly what he did!" Asuma ranted one night, walking Kurenai home after their movie date. Kurenai put her hand on Asuma's shoulder. "I don't think that's what he intended. There has to be a perfectly good explanation."

Asuma scoffed. "Like he'd talk about it... but I want answers. We'll get the kids to their first exam and meet at the standby station. He had better be ready to talk."

And a week later, there they sat. Asuma decided not to grill Kakashi right off the bat, instead discussing what the students were facing with this first exam. They got to talking about Ibiki, that old sadist, so that he almost forgot the real purpose of their meeting. It wasn't until Kurenai asked where [Y/N] was today (making Kakashi's mouth run dry) that he was reminded to get down to it.

"She's up trying to convince our father—bless the man for having raised such a stubborn girl—to let her rejoin ANBU. And you know, I think he actually might agree." He flicked his cigarette and took the opportunity to look out the corner of his eye to see if Kakashi had a reaction. If he did, he'd already missed it.

"How... How is she?" Kakashi asked, almost hesitant, afraid he might take another fist to the face. Asuma debated delivering said fist, then decided against it. His lack of response encouraged Kurenai to speak up. "How do you think she's doing, Kakashi? You told her you liked her and kissed her and then took it all back. She's heart broken. She thought... well, she thought you meant it when you confessed your feelings for her."

"I did mean it!"

His sudden exclamation surprised all three of them. Asuma and Kurenai had, on very rare occasion, ever seen Kakashi react so brazenly. Kakashi sighed and sat back in his seat, realizing what he'd just done. He started rubbing his forehead before he realized that Asuma and Kurenai were staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something else. He figured the best way to get them to leave him alone would be honesty.

It wasn't that he didn't like [Y/N]. It was that he realized he was so far gone in love with her and the idea terrified him. He had lost so many people and had to fight his way back from the depression of it all. But if he let himself grow too attached to her, if he lost her, it would be the end of him. He would finally break. That's why he had to let her go.

"Look. I did mean it and I still do. Asuma, trust me, I do. But that night at her apartment, when we kissed, I realized that it's not just that I like her. I've fallen in love with her—"

"In love with her?!" Asuma stood abruptly. "You're in love with her?! So what the hell are you doing, Kakashi?"

Kurenai placed her hand on Asuma's arm, calming him enough to sit back down. "Let him finish, Asuma." The brunette complied and gestured for Kakashi to finish.

"I... I am. I mean, I-I don't know." Kakashi was growing frustrated with himself, trying to voice his feelings. This was definitely new territory for him and he was sure he didn't like it. Regardless, Asuma and Kurenai continued to stare at him and he knew he had to keep going. "I knew that I liked her, but I figured it was just a harmless thing I had for her. I tried not to let it get too far. When I realized that I had, I panicked. I never meant to fall in love with her." He took a deep breath and sighed before continuing. "Asuma, everyone that I have ever loved has died. I can't afford to let anyone else in, not even [Y/N]. Hell, especially not her. I can't lose anyone else, not... not her."

They all sat in silence for a while before Asuma cleared his throat. "Kakashi, I... I don't know what to say... You've never shared anything like that with me."

"I don't exactly like to share."

"Right... Sorry about punching you."

"I deserved it."

It was that exact conversation that played in Asuma's head now, sitting in the arena as Sasuke and Gaara took on one another. After their talk, Asuma assumed something would give. He thought that Kakashi would try and make amends with [Y/N] or... something! Yet, almost the entire chunin exams were finished and Kakashi hadn't done anything. He just kept training and visiting the memorial stone and training some more.

Meanwhile, [Y/N] tried to busy herself with more and more work. Luckily, she hadn't gotten permission to join ANBU again (something that both Asuma and Kakashi were thankful for, as they were concerned about her safety, despite her being more than qualified for the job), but she had gotten permission to stake out the village wall during the arena matches (something [Y/N] was thankful for, as she didn't really want to see Kakashi).

Asuma almost made his way over to where Kakashi and Guy were standing until it happened: a genjutsu fell over the crowds, making everyone start to fall asleep. The jonin were quick to react and break out of it but stood still until they understood what was going on. When the Hokage's stand exploded in smoke, they realized they were under attack. As ninja from the sand village lined up in front of them, Kakashi and the others realized they were going to be fighting a long and rough battle today.

At some point, Kakashi sent Sakura out with Shikamaru, Naruto, and Pakkun to save Sasuke. He teamed with Guy to fight the sand ninja in his section of the stands as the other jonin did the same in their sections. He was sure he had his bases covered until he realized that [Y/N] was not the one teamed up with her brother, as they were used to. A small but powerful surge of panic ran through him but he forced it aside. She was a jonin too. She would be okay. He had to focus on what was going on now. He had to finish this first.

When Asuma realized that Kakashi had sent members of his team out, he quickly finished his part at the arena and left to follow them. He needed to make sure they were alright and then he needed to find [Y/N]. He prayed under his breath that everyone would make it out of this alive, him, his friends, his sister, his father. He nodded to Kurenai and Kakashi and then took off.

He found Shikamaru first, in the woods outside the village. He took down the sand ninja that had been waiting for Shikamaru's chakra to run dry with ease. "You did well, Shikamaru."

"Yeah, but it was way too much work." The boy groaned.

"Look, stay here for now. I've got to find [Y/N]. Come on back to the village soon but be careful." And with that, he took off.