Denial - a Breddy fanfic

3.

The next time Brett checked the time it was four in the morning. The living room had become dark and quiet. Brett felt like a stone, both physically and mentally. Heavy. He focused on his breathing. Breathe in... and breathe out. Breathe in...
Can't you breathe without concentrating? Pathetic.
"Shut up" he mumbled to his nagging brain, as if it would help. He grabbed his phone and stared at the home screen. It was a picture of himself, the wonderful Hilary Hahn, and Eddy of course. It was a nice picture, and it should have reminded Brett of happy times filming the Ling Ling workout with Hilary. It didn't. Instead all he could think of was that stupid voice in his head. It told him how he wasn't worthy of being in the same picture as Eddy, let alone Hilary. He covered himself in the picture with his finger and looked at Hilary and Eddy. Finally a good and proper looking photo. Eddy was standing in between himself and Hilary in the photo, and Brett was asked by the photographer to stand closer to Eddy.
The stupid voice, it yelled at him when he accidentally brushed too close to Eddy's hand, like he did right before the picture was taken. It also went ballistic when the stomach knot tensed up while he was thinking of how absolutely elegant Eddy looked while playing in proper concert attire. The way he moved his fingers, his concentrated look, the small flinch when his note was too slightly out of tune for Brett to hear, but just enough for Eddy's perfect pitch to pick up on, or his proud little smile when he took applause after playing...

Brett felt a small smile forming from thinking of Eddy, but as soon as he had realized it, the voice shot it down.
Ew, he's your best friend Brett, not your boyfriend. He's too good for your talentless self anyway.
He let out a sigh. The voice was right. What would Eddy think if he knew about what he had on his mind?
Brett was still staring at his lock screen, lighting it back up every time it went dark, so he almost jumped five feet in the air when he got a notification. It was a messenger message from Eddy.

04:03 Eddy: You up?

Yeah, why? :Me 04:04

04:06 Eddy: Can't sleep, I keep thinking of something...

At this point Brett's heart almost stopped. How many times hadn't he dreamt that Eddy would send him that message followed by "I think I love you, Brett"? He slapped his face lightly to snap out of it.
Don't get your hopes up, idiot. It's not like that.

04:13 Eddy: You still there?

Yah, sorry, what are you thinking about? :Me 04:15

04:17 Eddy: I'm worried about you, Brett.

Brett groaned at the message. He had said it a billion times at least: There was nothing to worry about! He was fine! If he wanted to worry about someone, it should be some starving children or something, not Brett Yang - Violinist and well known YouTuber!
Please, don't flatter yourself. "Well known?" Hillarious.

There's nothing to worry about, I'm fine. :Me 04:21

04:23 Eddy: You know you can talk to me about everything, right?

Brett didn't know how to reply to that.
"Not everything, Eddy", he mumbled to himself. He had never been good at discussing feelings, especially his own. How could he possibly explain to Eddy how he felt, anyway? And no, it was not like that, it was just some thoughts he had sometimes. How could he explain that every once in a while, he thought about doing boyfriend stuff with him even though it was obvious that Eddy had no interest in that? Why would even Eddy, an absolutely perfect person, be interest in a boring person like himself?
Not to mention your bad looks and awful violin skills. You sure you shouldn't be playing viola, Brett?

04:28 Eddy: I promise you can tell me whatever it is, Brett. We're best friends, remember?

Seen at: 04:29