Denial - a Breddy fanfic

92.

Eddy simply couldn't help it when he found Brett's hoodie on the floor of the hotel room. His intention had been to just throw it onto Brett's suitcase, but when he picked it up he could feel Brett's scent fill the air around him and immediately tears pressed on. He felt like an absolute idiot for missing him, but he simply couldn't help it. He crawled into bed, holding Brett's hoodie close to his chest.

When Brett opened the door to the hotel room around an hour later he found Eddy asleep in their bed, his face partially buried in a hoodie Brett immediately recognized as his own. It took a second before Brett's brain clicked. Maybe he regretted breaking up?
Don't get your hopes up, even if he does regret it you're probably going to fuck it up again pretty soon.

Brett bit his lip when the voice spoke. He tried to conjure some of the bravery Berit had helped him get earlier to allow himself to ignore the voice. He took off his shoes and tiptoed over to Eddy, who seemed to be shivering slightly lying there without any blanket. He considered it for a moment, but reached over and pulled the duvet carefully over him before heading for the shower.

Eddy woke up to the sound of the shower running and humming barely possible to make out. His brain panicked when he realized Brett had come home and likely seen him with the hoodie. That must have been weird, considering they weren't boyfriends anymore. Shit.
He sat up and realized the duvet was covering him from the waist down. When had he put the duvet on?
The shower was turned off and Eddy scrambled to fold up the hoodie and put it on Brett's side of the bed, even though he logically knew that wouldn't make sense. Brett had likely seen him with it when he came back. A minute or so later, Brett came out of the bathroom with only sweatpants on. Eddy blushed hard and looked away. He hadn't exactly stopped finding Brett attractive just because he broke up with him.
"Oh, Eddy, you're awake?" Brett half asked, half stated. "I thought you were sleeping still. I'll get some clothes, sorry." He immediately grabbed the sweater from the bed without thinking twice about it before he had put it on. When he put it on, he realized which sweater it was.
"Y... Yeah...", Eddy stuttered, moving to sit with his back against the wall and pulling the duvet up to his neck. He still didn't look in Brett's direction, guilt bubbling in the bottom of his stomach.

Brett sat down on his side of the bed, biting his lip. He really wanted to just get the talk done, but he feared for the outcome. What if Eddy decided they couldn't be together? What if he thought he was too pushy and decided they couldn't even be friends anymore?
"Eddy? Can we talk?", he heard himself say, hands shaking in his lap. He crawled up to sit with his legs crossed on the bed so he could face Eddy.
Eddy just nodded, his bottom lip trembling slightly. His brain went into a full panic mode, worrying about everything and anything that could possibly come out of Brett's mouth in that moment.
"I... I don't really know what to say, I just... I'm trying to understand why things turned out like this, because I don't want it to be like this." He looked down at his hands, the still slightly sore right ring finger he had hurt punching Chris.
Eddy didn't say anything. What could he even say? He really missed Brett a lot, but the tiny voice in the back of his head was truly convinced Brett would be better off like this.
The next time Brett spoke, his voice was cracking up.
"I just don't know what I did wrong, I guess? And..."
"You didn't do anything, Brett", Eddy interrupted quietly, breathing in shakily after the last word. "I only did it because you're better off like this, Brett. I'm obviously making your mental health thing worse, and I don't want that. I want you to be alright."
Brett pulled a hand through his wet head, trying to think of how to respond. Of course, Eddy had gotten it all wrong, but how could he say that in a way that didn't just seem like he was just saying what Eddy expected to hear?
"That's... I mean, you've gotten it all wrong, but... but I'm... I'm grateful for the lenghts you're willing to go for me." Brett looked up at Eddy again, seeing his sceptical look. "But it's not really helping me, if I'm honest."

It was quiet for a very long time while Eddy tried to collect his thoughts. Brett sat patiently, waiting for an answer from him. All his instincts told him to hug the confused boy in front of him, but he didn't.
"I miss you so much, Brett. I'm so sorry", Eddy whispered, tears overflowing at the last part. Brett leaned forward and carefully wiped Eddy's tears, just like he normally would.
"Shh, it's alright it's alright. Don't cry, Eddy, it's alright." Brett's voice shook as he spoke, and he was fighting the voice in his head. It could not get to ruin this.
"I don't know how I can stop hurting you, Brett, it seems that's all I do no matter what I do", Eddt sobbed, desperately wanting to bury his face in Brett's chest and forget about everything. He got his wish fulfilled when Brett pulled him into a hug.
"Listen to me Eddy, you're the reason I'm still here today, okay? You make my life worth living, you're the sun that keeps me warm, alright?" He kissed the top of Eddy's head, just like he normally would. "I love you, okay? Please, let's just go back to being boyfriends and forget about the last few days."
Eddy nodded, still sobbing into Brett's chest. "I'm so sorry I messed up", he cried, grabbing a fist of Brett's hoodie. "I love you."