Denial - a Breddy fanfic

153.

Eddy was at the psych ward at ten sharp as promised, trying his very best to ignore the fact that he had almost fallen asleep at the wheel on the way there and the fact that standing up made him feel dizzy. His hands trembled slightly, but he still pulled Brett into a tight embrace.
"God I missed you so much, Eddy. I'm sorry I messed up and ended up stuck here", he mumbled into the hoodie Eddy was wearing. Eddy stroke his back.
"It'll help you feel better, and that's the most important thing right now", Eddy said, kissing his hair softly.

Eddy knew he'd have to sit down pretty soon, feeling his knees getting a bit shaky.
"Wanna head to your room for a bit?" Eddy suggested, running his hand carefully through Brett's hair. "I just wanna hold you for a bit."
Brett got a beautiful shade of pink over his cheeks, and lead Eddy to his room, crawling together into the single bed.
"Mhm much better", Eddy whispered, pulling Brett to his chest. He yawned once before touching his lips against Brett's forehead.
"Tired?", Brett asked, while playing with one of the hoodie strings on Eddy's hoodie. Eddy shrugged.
"A bit", he admitted. He didn't want to say he hadn't slept properly since Wednesday, but truth was that he probably averaged at four hours of sleep per night the last few days. "Don't worry about it."

Brett sighed and squished his face against Eddy's neck.
"I did end up dreaming about you last night", he whispered, breathing hot air onto Eddy's sensitive skin.
"Mhm?"
"And I know you said no dirty dreams...", Brett continued, lifting himself up on his arms to look Eddy in the eyes. "But I just couldn't help it, you know? I miss that."
Eddy nodded quietly, closing his eyes to escape the light dizziness for a moment.
"I miss that too", he admitted, opening his eyes to look up at Brett. "When you get home..."
Eddy stopped in surprise as Brett leaned down to kiss him firmly, letting out a quiet moan. It had been quite a while since he had been kissed like that.

"You're thinking we do it here?" he breathed once Brett pulled away for a moment, and Brett nodded shyly.
"If you wanna, I mean, I don't wanna force you..."
"No fuck, Brett, I'd love that. Let me just go lock the door", Eddy said, quickly standing up.
As soon as he had both feet planted on the ground, he felt the world spin around him.
"Oh fuck", he muttered as the ringing in his ears increased in volume and everything went black.

The next time Eddy opened his eyes, he was surrounded by three people who looked like medical personnel.
"Jesus", he sighed, as if what had happened wasn't that much of a deal.
"Hey Eddy, how are you feeling?" a lady among the medical personnel Eddy didn't know asked with a smile on her face. "Looks like you had a bit of a fall there."
"I'm fine", Eddy mumbled, trying to sit up. He was held back.
"If you'll just stay still for a few moments so you don't faint again, that would be super", the lady said, and Eddy groaned in annoyance as he felt someone doing something to his right hand.
"What's going on? Where's Brett?" he asked, trying to turn his head.
"I'm here", Brett said quietly from behind him. The worry in his voice bothered Eddy.
"Looks like you have quite low blood sugar, Eddy. Did you have breakfast this morning?"
Eddy shook his head no, feeling the worry radiate from Brett even heavier.
"I suggest we get you something, then. No need to go hungry."

A bit later Eddy was sitting in the uncomfortable comfy chair in Brett's room eating a ham and cheese sandwich while Brett sat ceoss legged on his bed, watching him.
"Why didn't you say something?", Brett asked, sounding hurt. Eddy shrugged.
"I'm fine."
He took another bite of the sandwich, feeling how dry it felt in his mouth. Brett hid his face in his hands.
"Very obviously not, Eddy!"
Brett sounded more sad than annoyed, even though he was trying to sound annoyed.
"So I skipped breakfast today and it ended up being a bad decision. So what?" Eddy challenged, not looking at Brett. Instead, he kept his eyes glued to the stupid sandwich. Hit hurt to swallow it, but he forced hinself to do it.

Brett got up from the bed and sat down on his knees in front of him.
"When did you eat last before this sandwich, then?" he asked, looking up at Eddy from his position on the floor. Eddy hesitated just a notch too long, and Brett hid his face in his hands again.
"God", he whined, guilt washing over him.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'll be better, promise", Eddy said, taking another bite of the dry sandwich. "See? Eating. I'm fine, it's just been a tough few days."
"How can I help you better?", Brett asked, trying to blink away the sting of tears in his eyes. He looked up at Eddy.
"I'm fine, Brett."
"Stop saying that when you're not."

Eddy sighed and took another bite of his sandwich while trying to think of what to say.
"I don't know why I am like this, okay? I'm sorry", he eventually mumbled, avoiding to meet Brett's eyes. "There's no reason for it, I just gotta get my shit together."
Brett sighed and reached out to take Eddy's hand.
"You gotta take care of yourself, gotta take care of my world, Eddy."

A single tear forced it's way out from Eddy's strong face, running down his cheek before Eddy quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"I'm trying, Brett", he whispered, fearing that his voice would fail him if he tried to use it. "It's just so lonely at the house and I can't sleep because of my stupid brain reminding me of Chris and it's just so much easier to stay in bed and ignore the world all day."

Brett stood up and hugged Eddy tightly.
"And I worry about you, about how much you're going through when nothing I do seem to make it better. I just want you to be happy, Brett."
Eddy was sobbing hard now, but still trying to hold back his tears.
"Thank you for telling me, Eddy", Brett said softly, stroking his hair. "I know you're doing your best."
Eddy hid his face on the crook of Brett's neck and pulled him down into his lap.
"I'll try harder, okay? I will, I promise", Eddy whispered, still trembling. Brett kissed him gently, wiping the tears from his cheek with his thumb.
"And I'll try and help you, okay? Let's help each other."