Denial - a Breddy fanfic

168.

Leaving Brett was always awful. He hated seeing that sad wave and the brave smile through the hospital window, watching him until he had disappeared from view completely. Just a short week left of this. He could survive that.

He got home just as the sun was setting in the distance, and even though he had been sleeping most of the day he was tired. Coming home to the empty house was tiring.

He eventually curled himself up on the couch with a blanket that smelled like Brett tightly wrapped around him. The tea he had made for himself was still too hot, but the heat from the cup warmed his hands.

It had been a nice day, for the most part. Except Brett's breakdown, that was. The thought that the original lie was still affecting Brett felt like a constant knife being turned in his heart. If only he could go back in time and undo it.

He jumped when his phone rang loudly on the table, and as he grabbed it and saw Brett's face on the screen a tear flowed over. Still, he cleared his throat and answered it. His feelings could wait a bit, at least until he knew if Brett could deal with him.

"Eddy, love," Brett said, sounding relieved.
"Hey," Eddy replied quietly, taking a shaky sip of his tea. "Are you okay, sweetie?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just... I had this feeling that I needed to call you. I'm sorry if I woke you up or something."
Eddy shook his head to himself before realizing Brett couldn't see him.
"No, no, I'm just having some tea anyway. I'm glad you called."

Another tear ran down Eddy's cheek, this time because he had made Brett think calling him and potentially waking him was something to apologize for.
"Are you okay?" Brett asked after a few seconds of silence. "I realized I don't ask that enough."
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine," Eddy said, throat tightening at the last words.
"What's wrong, Eddy mine? Talk to me, please," Brett pleaded from the other end, and finally Eddy broke.

"I'm sorry, I just..." Eddy began, a quiet sob tearing through his chest. "I just feel so bad about lying to you when we became a couple because it still affects you and... and..." He clutched his cup, sipping shakily from his tea. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to fix it, Brett."

"Eddy, love, listen to me for a second, okay? There's nothing to fix, I promise. I know you love me and I love you and I don't actually need more from you than the yes, first when I proposed and again at the wedding."
A blush spread across Eddy's cheeks.
"It's the voice that makes me say and do stupid things, but I don't really doubt that you love me. I never did."

"But..."

"No but! The voice sometimes make me feel like I don't deserve you loving me, because you always take care of me and I never do anything for you, or I think I've tricked you into loving me, but I never doubt you do, okay?"

Eddy didn't know what to say. He had never heard Brett say anything so straight forward before.
"I love you so much, it's almost embarrassing," Eddy confirmed, nodding to himself. "I'm currently wrapped up in the dark blue blanket we have because it smells like you."
"I'm no better. You forgot your hoodie, by the way."

Eddy smiled to himself at the thought of Brett wearing his hoodie.
"Actually, I swapped it for the one you had there so I could wash it. I've done that every time."
"You did? I didn't even notice."
Eddy laughed a bit.
"There's some perks to having a ton of the same hoodie. Can trick my fiancé into thinking he has had the same hoodie for a while."

Brett laughed in the other end, and Eddy quickly swallowed the rest of his tea and set the cup on the table.
"You look hot in hoodies though."

Eddy's face turned bright red from the sound of Brett's deep, somewhat hoarse voice uttering those words. He had heard him say it before, but as a joke. Not like this.
"Maybe I should wear hoodies more often?" he suggested innocently, a smile playing on his lips.

"You're already distracting enough as it is," Brett said with a light chuckle. "Can't wait to come home to you so we don't have to sneak around anymore, though."

"What do you want to do when you get home, then?" Eddy asked, swallowing hard and closing his eyes.