Denial - a Breddy fanfic

149.

Eddy could tell Brett was drowsy, and not in the "didn't sleep last night"-kind of way. It was more like someone had ironed out his emotions and being awake simply was too boring to deal with. It honestly freaked Eddy out, and as he felt Brett shift positions from resting on Eddy's chest after insisting he needed to rest to get better, he found the courage to ask about it.

"Are you okay, Brett?" he asked, running a hand gently through his hair. Brett shrugged and looked up at him.
"I guess? Not feeling bad now, at least. Why?" he asked back, tilting his head up to kiss the underside of his chin.
Eddy turned his head away to cough before shrugging.
"Dunno, you just feel off", he said, wrapping his arms tighter around him. "But it's probably just me who's paranoid because I'm sick."
Brett moved his head back to rest on Eddy's chest, listening to the strained breathing.

"Could be the medication", he mumbled, fumbling with the string on Eddy's hoodie. Eddy leaned down to kiss the top of his head.
"You decided on the meds after all?" Eddy asked, having to clear his throat after. Brett nodded quietly.
"Is it working, then?" Eddy asked, rubbing Brett's back gently. "Or is it too early to know?"
"It's been quiet since I took it, but it's not like I hear it all the time", Brett said quickly, not really comfortable with talking about it. "It might just not have found anything I have done wrong yet. I don't know."

Eddy nodded and sniffled as he felt his nose get runny.
"Would you be sad if it stopped talking to you?" Eddy asked, and Brett looked up at him, confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Would it be like... I don't know, but would you miss it if it stopped talking to you?"
Brett furrowed his brows.
"Don't know. It would be weird if it went quiet now after so long", he mumbled, moving to intertwine his fingers with Eddy's.

Eddy ran his thumb over the back of his hand, looking down at their hands.
"How long have you heard it? I mean, when did it start?" he asked, sniffling again. Brett sighed, reminded of his flashback while talking to the doctor the day before.
"I think it was my sixteenth birthday", Brett said, looking up at Eddy.
"The day or the party?", Eddy asked, running a hand through Brett's hair to reassure him.
"The day", Brett mumbled, getting nervous. He wasn't sure how to read Eddy's reaction, and the quietness in his head made him anxious.
"When we got bubble tea?"
"When I dropped your bubble tea."
"Oh."

Brett looked up at Eddy who looked like he was working hard to figure out how to react. He felt his heart drop into his stomach. Eddy broke the silence.
"I'm sorry", he finally said, not really looking at Brett. Brett got a confused look.
"What do you mean? Why are you apologizing?" he asked, leaning on his arms to see Eddy's expression better.
"It's kinda my fault you've been going through all that, isn't it? I could have set the bubble tea on the ground or just ignored my shoelace for another ninety seconds until we found that bench?"
Eddy rubbed his eyes hard, and Brett just shook his head.
"N... No, Eddy, don't... It's not..."
"Brett, I'm so sorry", Eddy repeated, using his thumb to shakily caress Brett's cheek. Brett tried to shake his head, but he didn't really know what to do to make the situation better. The voice would have had a solution, surely.

"I didn't even know. Oh my god, how long is that? Like ten years ago? Why didn't you tell me?" Eddy asked, looking at Brett with the saddest eyes. Brett sighed and hid his face in Eddy's hoodie.
"I shouldn't even have told you now", Brett sighed, confirming to himself what the voice would have told him. "Because you would freak out thinking it was somehow your fault. It's not, okay? Just stop that right now."

Eddy looked up at him, seeing Brett's stern face. He sighed.
"You're right. I would", Eddy admitted, feeling defeated. "I guess I just wish you didn't have to deal with that, you know?"
Brett sighed and kissed Eddy's cheek.
"You always try to take care of me, Eddy. Thank you", he said, sitting up better to be able to move some hair falling into Eddy's eyes.
"Of course I take care of you. You're the most important person in my life", Eddy said, looking up at Brett with a tiny smile over his lips.

Brett leaned down and pressed his lips gently against Eddy's, tangling his fingers gently into his hair. Eddy had to push him away after just a few seconds, though, taking a deep breath.
"Sorry, no nose breathing for me right now", he explained, sniffling demonstratively. "And you're gonna get sick if we continue like this."
Brett kissed his forehead instead.
"Better?" he asked, smiling down at him. Eddy shrugged.
"Hmm would be better if you'd lie back down and cuddle with me. I'm getting cold", he said innocently, but having to turn to cough again.
"Anything for you, love", Brett ssid jokingly and laid back down to rest on Eddy's chest, pulling the blanket over them.

"I think it was good it was triggered before the party anyway, though", Brett commented, taking Eddy's hand under the blanket.
"Yeah?" Eddy asked, kissing Brett's forehead.
"Yeah, I don't think what happened after we tried weed would have been a great first meeting with it", he mumbled. "Wouldn't shut up."
Eddy nodded, closing his eyes and thinking back to it.

.
.

"Shut up shut up ohhhhh my god, I didn't, I swear I didn't... No! I didn't... Shut up!"
Brett had been rambling like that to himself for a while now, and it felt off. The music was still blasting in the background, but Eddy knew something was off. Brett never was the guy to talk to himself, really.
"Heyhey, Bretty, are you okay?" he asked, leaning over to Brett on the couch. Brett started at him like he had seen a ghost, but didn't reply. Not to him at least.
"No no, no... I can't you know I can't, no! Stop saying that... No! Shut up!"
Eddy spotted the temble of Brett's hands, and pulled him into a hug to try and calm him down.
"Hey, Bretty, you're fine... Shh, it's just the weed, yeah? It's fine, I'm here."

Eddy held Brett the whole night until both eventually fell asleep right there on the couch, the party still roaring around them.

.
.

"Thanks for holding me that night. I needed that."