Denial - a Breddy fanfic

116.

A couple of days later, the two boys had checked out of the hotel with their suitcases in hand and violins on their backs. They were heading to the light rail stop by the park, and Eddy could feel his hands get clammy and his stomach twisting just from the thought. It was early in the morning, the sun would have just gotten up if it wasn't for the heavy clouds resting over their heads. The few people around them were all cleverly dressed in rain coats, despite the fact that it wasn't raining just yet.

"You okay, love?" Brett asked as they approached the park. They had to walk close by it to get to the light rail stop, and Brett could feel Eddy getting uneasy.
"I.. Uh, yeah, it's fine", Eddy mumbled, not really convincingly. His breathing was picking up its pace, and it was making him slightly dizzy.
Brett reached out to grab his hand and stopped them a few meters before the stop.
"You never really told me what happened, Eddy. We have some time now before we have to get on the light rail. Want to talk about it?"
Eddy tried to calm his breathing as he tried to decide what to say to Brett. His entire body screamed to just get the hell out of there, to escape this place with the bad memories. Logically, though, he knew that it wasn't unlikely it would help him feel better if he talked about it. He knew he wanted Brett to talk about stuff, at least.

"C... Can I just... Show you?" he asked, swallowing hard. He did absolutely not want to retrace his steps of that night, but there he was.
Brett nodded and followed Eddy to where they would get on the light rail later.
"Uh, he... He was holding... My arm...", Eddy stuttered, showing on himself how his arm had been held, not sure how to explain. He paused.
"Use me to show, you'll be Chris and I'll be you. Maybe don't hold as hard, though", Brett offered, despite the fact that they still had their suitcases. Eddy swallowed again, trying to collect his thoughts. Maybe it would be easier if he wasn't acting like himself while explaining.

He placed his larger hand on Brett's arm, just like Chris had done to him that night. The ratio of hand to arm was relatively accurate, snd it made Eddy's stomach hurt.
"I was... Drunk, so I didn't realize where he..." His voice trailed off as he pulled Brett with him, following the path Chris had that night.
Brett followed willingly, paying careful attention to Eddy's mood. It felt weird for Eddy to hold his arm like that, but he wanted to understand.
"I swear, I tried to fight back when I realized..." Eddy said, getting choked up with tears.
"I know you did, I know you would. It's not your fault, Eddy", Brett assured, not really able to physically comfort him with Eddy's hand around his arm like that. Eddy nodded quietly, moving ng them further towards the bush and the lamp post he had felt against his back.
"H... He...", Eddy began as they approached the bush. He gently moved Brett to stand with his back against the same lamp post, careful not to push him against it wihen he had his violin on his back. Then he leaned down and kissed Brett. The kiss was soft, but he understood that on thst night it hadn't been.

Eddy's tears ran down his cheeks, and his hands were trembling intensely.
"This is when he... T... Touched me, but I'm not gonna..." Eddy stuttered, removing his hand from Brett's arm and wiping his tears. Brett didn't really know what to say,so instead he let go of his suitcase and hugged his fiancé.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that", he whispered to the trembling man. "But thank you for showing me."
"Thank you for dealing with me", Eddy replied, hugging him back. He hadn't expected it to actually help as much as it did.