Denial - a Breddy fanfic

111.

They shut off the camera while queueing. Appearently, quite a lot of other tourists had the same idea as them of going up this particular mountain, and the line stretched far into what looked and felt like a cave. The two boys had gotten themselves a spot on a wooden bench along one of the walls, and Brett was resting his head on Eddy's shoulder while they waited for the large Japanese tourist group to move onto what looked like some kind of tram, except it was traveling steeply uphill. The whole group didn't fit, so some of them had to wait for the next one.

The two boys didn't mind waiting for the next one to avoid being in the cramped space with the other tourists. Besides, just sitting on the bench together like this was nice. Eddy's hand was resting on Brett's knee, the gold of his ring glimmering in the dimly lit station. He caught himself looking at it and smiling to himself. The idea of marrying Brett felt so strange, but yet right.
"Do you think we should wear matching suits at our wedding?" Eddy suddenly asked, jolting the half asleep Brett awake.
"What, uh... I don't know? What do you want?" Brett asked, sitting up straighter and rubbing his eyes gently. The question caught him off guard, but in a good way. To actually talk about the wedding gave him butterflies.
"I don't know either. Won't get that 'wow'-moment then though, because we'll know what the other is wearing", Eddy considered, trying to imagine it in his head.
Brett placed his hand on top of Eddy's.
"You mean like when the groom sees his bride for the first time in the dress?" he asked as the tram finally left the station with the first part of the Japanese tourist group. Brett followed it with his eyes as it went up the hill on its tracks.
"Yeah, except neither of us will be wearing a dress. Unless you really want to, of course. I won't stop you." He grinned and looked down at Brett who stuck his tongue out at him.
"I feel no deserate need for that, no", he said with a jokingly annoyed snort. "But if you want that moment, just with suits, we can do that. It would be nice."

Another couple of minutes passed as the two of them watched the crowd in silence. Brett's hand was resting comfortably over Eddy's on Brett's knee.
"I don't even know how we'll have time to plan a wedding, if I'm honest", Brett eventually interrupted the silence, looking up at Eddy again. "I didn't think that far."
"We'll figure something out. It would be nice to have an actual wedding, though, and not just head up to the courthouse to get it sorted", Eddy replied, leaning over to kiss Brett's forehead. Brett snorted.
"I hope you didn't think I wanted that kind of wedding, because then you might not know me as well as you think", he said, squeezing Eddy's hand lightly.
"Have you thought about how you want it then, since you've had the opportunity to plan longer than I have?" Eddy asked, turning slightly on the bench to look into his fiancé's gorgeous brown eyes. His pale cheeks got a hint of colour, and Eddy couldn't help but smile a bit. "You have, haven't you?"
Brett kissed him quickly to try and stop Eddy's lips from forming that teasing smile he knew so well.
"I have", he finally admitted, cheeks turning redder as he did. He watched Eddy's expression carefully, but that teasing smile didn't come. Instead, Eddy turned about as red as Brett was. "Especially after I got the ring."
Eddy leaned in to kiss him again, longer this time. Brett followed his lead willingly, moving his available hand to Eddy's cheek. When they pulled away, Eddy's smile was wide.
"'Especially' after you got the ring?", he asked, still way closer to Brett's face than what was considered normal in public. Brett blushed harder.
"The... the thought of it crossed my mind... you know when we did the most overplayed pieces video?" Brett asked, trying to not die from embarrasment. Eddy's face was a mixture of joking shock and actual shock in that moment.
"We are not having Canon in D in our wedding, Brett, that's where I draw the line", he said followed by giggles. The actual shock came from the fact that Eddy genuinly had no idea how Brett had felt at the time.
"Nono, that was a joke, I promise, but you know wh...when you asked when my wedding was gonna be?" Brett stumbled over his words now from embarrasment. He was finally realizing how long he had been crushing on Eddy, and it had been a while, despite the fact that he had been denying it to himself for a very long time.
"That's when you first thought of it?" Eddy asked, almost in disbelief. "I was blind for so long, oh my god." The last part was added as a whisper, sounding almost sad.
"Or I was actually somewhat good at hiding it, you know", Brett said, kissing him again to stop him from having that sad look on his face. "For a while I even hid it for myself, so I must have been good at it."
"I'm sorry you had to hide it, Brett. I should have realized sooner", Eddy said, biting his lips, but Brett just shook his head.
"It wouldn't have ended like this though, would it? If you'd found out before, I mean", he said, taking Eddy's hand between his, touching the ring carefully with his index finger. "Because I probably wouldn't have had that breakdown, and you wouldn't have felt sorry for me in the same way, wouldn't have said you liked me even though you didn't and then wouldn't have fallen for me." He took a deep, shaky breath before looking back up at Eddy's eyes again. "I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, honestly."

Eddy swallowed hard, trying to grasp the fact that Brett was right. Had Brett calmly told him he had a crush on him, he wouldn't have reacted the way he did, and while there still was a chance he'd eventually develope a crush on Brett it wouldn't be the same. Maybe Brett would have gotten over him by then? Tears stung his eyes, but he tried to play it off by laughing.
"Well, I was an idiot for not falling for you before, then", he laughed as the first tear ran down his cheek. Brett furrowed his eye brows and reached out to wipe it away for him.
"It's okay, Eddy. I'm just glad it sorted itself out. You don't have to cry, it's okay", he said, trying to find the right thing to say to stop Eddy's tears.
That's it, Bretty, make him cry. Drive him away. It's probably better for him to stay away from you, anyway.
Brett bit the inside of his cheek hard when the voice spoke in his head. He tried to tell it to shut up in his head, but it wouldn't. Instead he opted to ignore it for now, despite the fact that its words echoed through his head.
"I must have been blind anyway, to not fall for you before it got to that", Eddy said, trying to wipe his own tears. He felt weird, he wasn't really sad. It was a mixture between tears of happiness and tears from guilt. He was so happy it had turned out like this, but at the same time he felt so guilty about decieving Brett, about lying, about the fact that he could have been the only reason this wouldn't have happened.
"I'm just glad you did, Eddy. Please don't cry, I don't want you to cry." Brett's voice was cracking up at the end, the voice's words still repeating in the back of his mind. He wanted it to shut up, but it just wouldn't.
"I love you so fucking much, okay?" Eddy said firmly, taking Brett's face between his hands carefully. "And it's gonna stay that way forever now, okay? We're gonna be together forever."
The voice in Brett's head paused at Eddy's words, and Brett's eyes locked onto Eddy's, who was searching for confirmation in his expression. Brett nodded, weakly at first, but then firmer.
"Forever", he said, a smile forming on his lips again, not only from the fact that he felt like the luckiest man in the world, but also from the fact that Eddy had made the voice in his head shut up. "That's why I gave you the ring."
Eddy leaned in and kissed him again, and Brett wouldn't want it any other way.