Denial - a Breddy fanfic

165.

Brett woke up to the sound of Eddy's soft snores next to his ear a couple of hours later. He had no idea what time it was, but the colour of the light sneaked past the curtains he guessed it would be lunch soon.

Eddy stirred a bit, pulling Brett closer.
"Mmmh what's the time?" he asked in a hoarse voice, still half asleep. Brett tilted his head up and kissed his chin softly before answering.
"I don't know, but I think maybe around lunchtime?" he whispered back before snuggling his nose against Eddy's neck. Eddy shivered from the warm air getting blown down his neck.

"Should we get up and go have lunch, then?" Eddy asked, sneaking his hand just underneath Brett's sweater to lightly run his fingers over his lower back. Brett shivered.
"Mmmhhh nooo..." he whined playfully, lips touching Eddy's neck. "Can't we just lie here for a bit, please?"

Eddy moved slightly to press a soft kiss against Brett's pouty lips, running his finger slowly up and down the lower part of his spine. Brett tangled a hand into his hair, deepening the kiss and ending up lying more on top of him than he had.

"I love you," Eddy breathed against Brett's lips once he pulled slightly away for a breath, looking up at him with warm, brown eyes. Brett couldn't help but smile at the sight of Eddy's messy appearance in combination with the words he had just uttered. It was all he ever wanted, really. All he dreamt of when getting him the coffee with the heart, when traveling to Norway together, when asking Eddy to marry him.

But are you even close to good enough for him?

His face fell when the voice spoke, a wave of hesitation flashing over his face. It was way past when he should have taken another pill, but he didn't expect it to come back just yet. He really thought he would get to have this moment first. He really did.
But he knew the voice was right, of course. How could he ever believe that he would be good enough for him?

Eddy could tell something changed just from the little change in Brett's eyes, like someone put out the light in them. He reached out to stroke Brett's cheek, a look of worry forming on his face.

"Brett?" he asked, concern coating his voice. Brett just shook his head quietly, moving away to sit on the side of his bed with his face hidden in his hand. Eddy quickly sat up, stroking his back.
"Love? What's wrong? Talk to me, please."

Brett shook his head again.
"I'm sorry," he sighed, rubbing his eyes hard to prevent himself from crying like a child. He knew the voice would berate him for that. "We should get lunch."

Eddy's mind was racing, trying to figure out what went wrong. Was it something he'd done?
"Brett, something happened just now. Tell me so I can fix it, please? Let me help you."

Brett reached for his glasses and put them on before standing up, wrapping his arms around himself.
"It's nothing, really. Let's go eat," he mumbled, looking down at the floor. How could he be so stupid to believe everything would be fine? He was still pulling Eddy down, holding him back, luring him into thinking he loved him.

Nobody actually loves you. They're just saying that because they feel sorry for you.

"Is it something I said?" Eddy's voice was weak, almost breaking into a whisper at the end. Brett felt like the worst person in the world, seeing how much he hurt him. Of course the voice was right, of course he didn't deserve Eddy. Of course he wasn't good enough for him.

"Let's go eat," he repeated quietly, dragging his feet towards the door.