Denial - a Breddy fanfic

178.

Brett did not want to go back to that place. He did not want to see the place, not want to be in there, he didn't even want to think about it. It reminded him of how much of an failure he was, how little he deserved Eddy's patience, how much he needed to make up to him.

He didn't make a fuss about it though. Eddy was driving him there, and he was determined not to make Eddy worry. There was no reason to worry, really. He had taken his pills, he was going to his appointment. He hadn't even cried in several days. He was fine, per definition.

"There we are," Eddy said as he parked, snapping Brett out of his thoughts. "Do you want me to come with you?"
Brett furrowed his brows for a moment, but quickly decided.

"No, no. You were going to order the flowers. That's more important," Beett said back, nodding to himself. That's what the voice would have said, right?

"Okay, love," Eddy said with a smile, pulling him by his jacket in for a kiss. "Good luck in there."
Brett nodded.
"Thanks. Remember we wanted the yellow flowers. The hydrangeas."
Eddy nodded and held up his phone.
"Wrote it all down, love. I'll do my best not to mess up."

And with that, Brett was left to fend for himself. He dragged his feet through the main entrance of the hospital, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten. He hated this place, and the urge to run away just got stronger.

"Good morning, sweetie! How can I help you today?" the receptionists asked him cheerfully, looking up from her computer. He was taken back by her positive attitude.

"I uh... I'm here for an appointment," Brett said, trying to sound like the polite guy he really was. The voice would have told him to get his shit together and speak properly, so that's what he tried to do.

"Okay, sweetie. Your name?" She typed something into her computer before looking up at him expectantly.
"Uh, Brett Chen. I mean Yang. Brett Yang," he said, getting a hot red over his cheeks. God he actually said that out loud. "Sorry, Chen's my fiancé."

She laughed a bit and typed it into her computer.
"I see. Getting married soon?" she asked with a smile, not looking up from her screen as she typed on.

"Yeah, in spring," he said, feeling a hint of butterflies in his stomach thinking about it. He decided to add a little joke. "Unless I fuck it up before that, of course."

She stopped typing and looked up at him, still having a polite smile but not the cheerful one like before.
"I'm sure you'll be fine, sweetie. You can sit down and wait for a bit."

Brett felt the knot in his stomach tighten again, but nodded and did as she said. He fucked up a conversation. A very normal, cheerful conversation about the wedding. Stupid. The voice would chew him up about it.

He decided to chew himself up about it instead, knowing what the voice would say.